Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs
by Kassaremidybelljesslynn
Summary: With every episode, we discover more and more layers of Chad. Does anyone ever wonder what he thinks about when Sonny is talking? Well, get ready to find out. Rated for Chad's major pottymouth and some suggestive content.
1. Just the Girl

Just The Girl

Summary: Chad's thoughts throughout the episode "West Coast Story." Songfic to Just the Girl by the Click Five. Sorry it's so long, Chad over thinks EVERYTHING!  
The song is not in order. It's just random snippets that Chad remembers. But still a songfic.

* * *

I am not having a good day. First, I had to walk by the parking spot. That in itself was bad enough. Those stupid _So Random!_ people and their stupid parking spot. Next, the one person I actually like on _Mackenzie Falls_ left. Her character was killed off. You know, just because I flirted with her a lot, didn't mean I wasn't paying attention. Although there was that one time we…never mind. Maybe they didn't kill her off though. After all, they just said it was a tragic accident, they didn't say she died… And I've got that stupid song by _The Click Five_ stuck in my head. You know, _Just the Girl?_ To make matters even worse I had not gotten to say my full name _once _all day. It's not that I'm vain; it's just that I love my name. I named myself. Don't ask me what my real name is, because it's so hideous, it hurts to think it…ugh, ugly stuff. But Chad Dylan Cooper…that's an amazing name. That I haven't had the pleasure of saying today at all! I need yogurt!

I walked over to the cafeteria. I really don't like eating in here. Everyone looks at me funny. I like to think it's because they're staring at my raw, heartthrob look, but it's probably because I've insulted them in some way shape or form and they are hoping that looks really can kill. I know, I should be nicer, but I do what I do for four reasons:

1.) Everyone likes the bad boy. No one can turn him down.

2.) The "big people" (whoever the heck they are) know no one can turn down a bad boy. So they told me, "be a bad boy." Which I hate being. Especially that one interview. That dog was freaking annoying. And I'm allowed to shove it; it's my mother's!

3.) I'm bored. There's nothing to do. Everyone on the cast is an idiot or doesn't talk because they like me! I know what they're teaching me! I got held back because I skipped school too much, not because I'm an idiot!

4.) Some people just deserve to be made fun of. Like Portlyn.

I'm hungry. Right, yogurt. I spied a lunch lady. Yes, they all love me! For some reason, the highest percent of people who watch soap operas are single people. And I know for a fact most of the lunch ladies are single. This one's new though. And really fat!

"Excuse me? Miss? When you're done with that order I'm going to need an extra large chocolate," I said. I was feeling nice so I didn't tell her now. Even though I really need some sugar!

"Oh, I don't work here," she said. She looked up and realized who I was. "Oh my gosh!" she yelled. Great. Another love sick girl…or woman, whatever. "I know you! You're…you're…" she stuttered. I helped the poor girl out. I went over to one of the many posters of _Mackenzie Falls_ and stood next to it.

"Him?" I asked. She just nodded. What is it about me that girls like?! I'm a jerk, I mean, come on! "Chad Dylan Cooper," I said, putting on a suave smile. Time to role act.

"You're Mackenzie on _Mackenzie Falls_!"

"Well, apparently you're Madge," I said, reading her name.

"YES! No, no! Madge is my waitress character. And all this belongs to Madge too," she said, patting her behind. Oh good. Because let me tell you, although I have nothing against obese people, _that_ was scary. How could you let yourself get like that? Wait…character? Oh no…she was with _them_. That's it, I was going to be semi-nice to her, but now she can forget it! "My name's Sonny," she said, smiling huge, holding out her hand. She had a nice smile…forget that! No more Mr. Nice Guy. I need my parking space!

"Sonny, that's a nice name!" I exclaimed.

"Thank you," she said. She started rambling on about something. Sonny – thanks for the yogurt, love Chad Dylan Cooper, I wrote.

"I'll see you later," I said. I took her yogurt and eased away. Hah, payback is sweet! Ooh, look, Cookies and Cream FroYo. And a burrito! YES! I went outside. The day was shaping up, but now I have to lug this thing all the way to…oh my Tisdale! The parking spot! It's empty! Where's my cart?! Hah, Portlyn used it this morning! Let me get this up here…I heaved the yogurt cart onto the golf cart. I drove it over to the parking space! YES! I win! Take that Chuckle City!

"Hey Portlyn?" I asked. I had called the studio. "We got our parking space back!" Within minutes, everyone was here, and we were all enjoying the FroYo. Aubriana pointed out that the Chuckle City people were staring. We looked over and waved. I felt a little bad taking advantage of the new girl. But you know what? That's what you get for being a poser! I bet she's not even funny.

So later that day, we were filming. Don't ask me which scene, because I don't remember. All I remember was that Person #1 was making out with Person #2, who was the significant other of Person #3 and Person #1 and 3 were best friends. Then, Person #3 walked in on Persons #'s 1 and 2 and it wasn't good. I think I was Person #1. Mackenzie is a jerk-off. Anyway…we were in the middle of filming when my phone went off. The director gave me a look.

"My mother might be calling. Would you like her to come down here to see if the rumors are true, or to call every once in a while to see if the rumors are true?" I asked him. He nodded. I went off to the side. "Hello?"

"Chad?" a voice said. That wasn't my mom.

"Who is this?"

"Sonny," it said. Sonny…Sonny…do I know a Sonny? "From earlier? I'm in _So Random_?" she clarifies.

"Oh yeah. Madge."

"Yeah. Look, there's so much fighting between us and it's all really stupid. I mean, there's no real reason for it. So I thought we could all just put our differences aside and get together," she said. Wow, she was a happy, naïve person.

"How are we going to do this?" I asked.

"A peace picnic!" she exclaimed. Okay, either she's really naïve or she wants to trick us. I'm betting more on the second one, since no one is that naïve.

"Of course we'll be there. What time?" I asked.

"How about…12 o'clock?" she asked.

"Sounds perfect Sonny," I said. I could almost hear her smile. She hung up. I smiled. Perfect. This day couldn't get any better. Except that stupid song is stuck in my head! Just the girl. I wish I could find a girl who didn't melt every time I walked into the room. Even Tawni did it, although not as much. But I wouldn't date her. She scared me and she was too high-maintence. Sonny didn't seem to bad…wait…did I really just think that!? Not right! She's from Chuckle City! I better tell the others of my plan. Hopefully Portlyn will understand it!

We arrived just on time to see the potato salad get thrown into Sonny's face. Oh, the irony. Her "peace potatoes" were what was going to humiliate her and bring out her vengeful side. I ran in to grab the statue. MINE! We earned it, seeming as we can act! I couldn't wait to sell all this stuff on line. I wondered how they were going to retaliate.

I went to bed that night thinking about Sonny. I liked her laugh. It was cute. Her smile was pretty cute too. It was freaking huge, but adorable. She has a quirky sense of humor…what is going on? Was I really just dreaming about Sonny Monroe? Not possible. That stupid song popped into my head. I remembered two lines:

_**She laughs at my dreams, but I dream about her laughter.**_

_**Strange as it seems, she's the one I'm after.**_

If Sonny found out I dreamed about her, would she laugh? Probably. Oh, this is not good. Not good at all.

The Chuckle City residents retaliated the next day. We were in the middle of another scene. This one was very corny. Fall was coming back and since Portlyn's character and I had this thing going on, Mackenzie was dumping her. But first, he was going to make out with her. Stupid soap opera. Well, I was just about to hint at making out with her (with the corny line: "Shhh…time for talking's over.") when Sonny stormed in. I heard a voice say:

"What's the matter with you?!" I looked at Portlyn. That wasn't in the script.

"What's the matter with me, what's the matter with-" I yelled. Wait, her lips didn't move. "Those words didn't come out of your mouth," I said out loud.

"CUT!" the director yelled. I heard him laugh. Oh, shut your pie-hole, you high school dropout! I turned around, and sure enough there was Sonny. She looked pissed.

"What are you doing? We're sort of in the middle of a shoot here," I said.

"And now you're sort of in the middle of a break. Portlyn, you've got great legs, let's see how they move," she said, smiling meanly. Ooh, she didn't just look pissed, she was pissed!

_**She's cold and she's cruel, but she knows what she's doing.**_

That was random. Sonny's not cruel. Although, it seems she knows what she's doing. I knew how to stop that though. I just wished she wouldn't fall for it, like every other girl.

"Stay sad, sweetie!" I called after her. Portlyn was the one girl who really couldn't act on this show. I turned to Sonny angrily. "What is your problem?!" I yelled.

"What's my problem? My problem is that everything my friends, and Tawni told me about you guys was true. You "Mackenzie Falls people are jerks!" she yelled. That was insulting. I'm not a jerk, I'm just paid extra money to act like one! "And you're like the head jerk! You're like the mayor of Jerkesville! The head ambassador of Jerkelslovakia !" she yelled. Mayor of Jerkesville? Ambassador of Jerkelslovokia? Wow. That was very elementary. But her insult got the point across. I wasn't a jerk, but she sure believed I was. I realized exactly how much I hated the "big guys."

_**She's cold and she's cruel, but she knows what she's doing. **_

_**Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined.**_

That line suddenly held a lot more meaning. Wait, I wasn't going to let her get away with that. I am Chad Dylan Cooper and I will not tolerate slander like that! I really didn't want to do but…sometimes when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I was bringing out the heartthrob.

"You saw the potato salad video, didn't you?" I asked her, smiling. "I also direct."

"We were trying to make peace," she said sadly. Was she?  
"Please. You were trying to trap us," I said. Oh my goodness, she _was_ that naïve. She started saying something about me, but I wasn't listening. She really was trying to be nice. No one has ever really done that here before. I turned on the charm. I needed to get her out of here before I started apologizing. "Do they Sonny?" I asked her. The lights got turned down. Perfect. "Do they really?" She looked at me.

"Look, it was sweet of you to put that picnic together. It was way sweet," I said, touching her arm. I saw her straighten at the contact. She was falling for it, hook, line, and sinker. "But the bad blood between our two shows has run to deep for too long to be healed by a bowl of egg salad, even with the best of intentions," I told her. I took her hand in mine. Girls went crazy for that. A few guys too. "Just because you wish for something, doesn't make it so." She was staring at me with this dazed look on her face. She wouldn't be bothering me for a long time.

"Oh, Chad Dylan-"

"Shhh," I said. I took a deep breath. Last line. "The time for talking is over." I had the sudden urge to kiss her.

OH GOSH NO! I COULD NOT KISS SOMEONE FROM CHUCKLE CITY!

"I must go. So run, run back to your show. And put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed," I said, walking away. I heard her sigh as I walked away. I felt better. She fell for it. But I felt bad too. Why did I feel bad? What had this girl doing to me!?

* * *

"You're challenging us to musical chairs?" I asked. Okay, these people were freaking pathetic. But I smiled on the inside. Sonny hadn't fallen under my spell. The first girl to ever do that. I thought of that stupid song again.

_**Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet. **_

_**And I cannot help myself, I don't want anyone else.**_

Oh no, I had to help myself. I was Chad Dylan Cooper!

"That's a game for children between the ages of 4 and 7."

"Then it should be perfect for you!" she shot back. She just keeps on surprising me.

_**She's a mystery, she's too much for me.**_

_**But I keep coming back for more.**_

I wouldn't let myself think that last line. I complained about how we had no down time. She called me a chicken. Then she started making chicken noises. That was really weird and really creeping me out, so I gave into almost anything she said. She was really getting under my skin. No one could do that to me!!!

Oh, it's on Sonny.

A few hours later we walked in on them doing who the heck knows what. I originally only wanted to bring Aubriana, Michelle and Anthony, but Portlyn whined until I let her go, so I did. We got into positions. After a few rounds, it was down to just Sonny and me. Oh, she was going down.

"Looks like it's just you, me, and one more thing you're not going to get!" I teased.

"You know, you're acting real confident for someone who's going to lose!" she shot back.

"At least I can act," I laughed.

She put on a deeper voice. "Can you Chad? Can you really?"

_**She runs on 100 proof attitude power.**_

I rolled my eyes. I could act, I just didn't feel like it most of the time.

_**And the more she ignores me the more I adore her.**_

She fell. My heart jumped into my throat.

"Oh! It's my ankle, it really hurts, I think something snapped!" she cried. OH SHIT! SONNY!

_**What can I do, I'd do anything for her.**_

She sounded so pathetic, so hurt, I couldn't just sit down. Not yet. "Oh, man. That looks really serious. We better get you to a doctor. Take my hand," I said, reaching for her. Please, don't let it be too serious! But serious enough where I can hold her without giving anything away.

Sonny pulled me down, flipped me over, and sat down in the chair. "Peace out suckers!" she yelled. I couldn't believe it!

_**Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet.**_

"You tricked me!" I yelled.

"No! I was acting!" she said mockingly.

_**She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion.**_

"Not bad. There could be a spot open for you on Mackenzie Falls," I said. I looked at Portlyn. No one liked her character. "After Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident," I said. Portlyn ran away crying. Then she turned me down. NO! WHY!?

_**And when she sees it's me on her caller I.D.**_

_**She won't pick up the phone, she'd rather be alone.**_

I went to bed thinking about Sonny again that night. She was the only girl to be mean to me, to turn any offer down coming from me. She was different.

I turned on my radio to make sure the alarm would be loud enough. The song came on.

"She's a mystery, she's too much for me. But I keep coming' back for more, oh, I keep coming' back for more. She's just the girl I'm lookin' for, just the girl I'm lookin' for," it sang out. I smiled. I turned it off and lay back in my bed. I sang the last lines, Sonny's face in my head the whole time.

Sonny Monroe was the one girl who I knew would say no to me, but she was it.

She was just the girl I was looking for.

* * *

So, what do you think? My first Sonny fic. I tried to do Chad being how he is on the show, but I didn't like it, so I changed him to this. I hope ya'll like it!


	2. Beautiful Soul

* * *

Note: I know, it's weird to have a note before the title, but you'll see why. I'm going to change the title. This is the new title. I'll change it when I get the next chapter posted. For a list of when it will be posted, go to my page.

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs  
Chapter 2: Beautiful Soul

Note #2: Bold is Chad's little voice inside his head, and bolded italics is lyrics to the song.

* * *

Okay, so since I have no one to talk to – okay, well no worth talking to – I'm just going to talk to myself. Because really, who is cooler than me? No one. So anyway.

I've got another song stuck in my head. But it's not the Click Five. It's Jesse McCartney, of all people. It's called Beautiful Soul. Have you heard it?

**Why yes Chad, I have heard it. **

Yeah, well I can't get it out. And I keep thinking about Sonny. I can't believe I said that to her. I'll never live it down. I bet she knows I like her.

**YOU LIKE SONNY MONROE? FROM CHUCKLECITY!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?**

Jeez Chad, you don't have to rub it in! And you knew that already!  
**I did?**

Yeah. Remember:

_"We should hang out sometime," we said._

_"Camera's off Chad," she said._

_"I know," we said. _

**Oh yeah, I remember. How could we say something so obvious? **

Right? I thought we were smarter than that.

**I can see why that song reminds you of her.**

_**I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul**_

It's true though. I don't want another girl that melts when I walk into the room. I want a girl that can stand up for herself.

**Wow, Chad, you can be so deep!**

Thanks. I try.

**Hey Chad! The lunch lady came out. I want **_**cordero**_**!**

_Cordero_? Really? You're talking Spanish now?

**Sonny can speak Spanish.**

And you called me pathetic. Shame on you Chad Dylan Cooper! Oh, look there's Sonny!

What's she doing with James? That player!

"Hey? I got her to get me a rack of lamb!" I said, butting in. He sighed.

"I love lamb!" I said something to him, before pretending to notice Sonny.

"Sonny."

"Chad."

"They're filming our scenes now, so we should probably go," I said. Sonny gave me a look. Gosh, even in a teapot outfit she looks cute…why is she so cute…stupid cute. Wait, she's saying something. I think she insulted my show! "What are you? Life of the Boston Tea Party?"

"Well at least my show brings joy to viewers," she said. I smiled.

"At least my show has viewers," I shot back. Which isn't true. I've seen our ratings. They're pretty bad…

"Wow. What's going on here?" James asked.

"No…thing," I said. I was about to say 'none of yo' business cretin' but I stopped myself.

"Less than nothing."

"And certainly nothing to be late over. Come on, our scenes right after lunch," I said. I walked away. Only Sonny could have that effect on me. Well, her and Miley Cyrus…that girl is hot. And Sonny's cute. Stupid cute.

I stopped at the doorway and looked back at them. What are they…OH NO! HE MADE HER GIGGLE! NO FAIR! I've made her giggle…

**No Chad, you haven't!**

Yeah I have…wait, have I?

**No comment.**

Okay, so maybe I haven't. Damn it.

* * *

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Chad? James? Can you please focus?"

"Sorry sir. Can I take a break?" James asked, lying on what he called his "suave voice."

"Of course. Take 5 everyone."

I still have that song stuck in my head.

_**I want to be what you always needed  
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me**_

Why do I get the feeling that Sonny doesn't even think I have a heart?

**Because you're probably right.**

Shut-up Chad.

I saw James rush over to where our coats were. I walked over a bit slower, reaching for my phone. There it…wait. That's James's crappy phone, the one that ran out of battery. Who took my phone? I walked outside, searching for my phone to find James with it. Of course.

"Dude? Is that my phone?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah it is, thanks," he said. "I gotta make this fast. Do you wanna go out tonight?" he asked the person on the phone. Please tell me it's not Sonny, please tell me it's not Sonny! "You hang up first!" he said.

"I'll hang up!" I yelled, grabbing my phone back.

"You know, for someone who doesn't like Sonny, you sure are protective of her," James noted. I froze.

"I…you…uh….pu-sha. I don't like…Sonny…that's…ridiculous," I finally sputtered out. "So who were you talking to?" I asked.

"Why do you care?" He looked at me. "I'm leaving now," I said, running away.

"Chad? You're hair is a mess! Go get cleaned up," the director said.

"Oh come on! Fine. But I want lamb!" I said. I stomped off to my dressing room. Or dressing area. About twenty minutes later I was munching on a beautiful piece of lamb, when Tawni hit my back.

"Where's your idiot friend?" she asked. Ow. That hurt. I yelled for my idiot. "Not that idiot, James." Oh. That idiot. I'd prefer a stronger word. Like…nincompoop, I've always liked that word. "Yeah, the one that's going out with Sonny tonight."

My blood started to boil. That's not possible. I turned to Tawni.

"Sorry, what?"

"James. Sonny. Date. Tonight." I stared. Not comprehending.

"Date. Sonny. Tonight. JAMES?" I replied.

"So where is he?" she asked. Why does she care?

"Right now he's breaking into the first bank of Mackenzie Falls," I said. I heard sirens. That would be him. She started bashing my show. I defended it quickly. Okay, so it's a soap opera, but it's my soap opera. At least I'm a real actor.

"Look, just tell James 'Back off of Sonny,'" she said. Why does she care so much?

"Wait what…why do you want him to back off Sonny?" I asked.

"Why are you wearing a bib?" she countered. Wait…she knew James. Did she like him?

"Jealous?" I asked.

"I have my own bib!" she yelled. What the hell?

"No, not of the bib! Of Sonny! What the…ugh," I said aloud. Wow, and people thought I was slow. Sheesh.

"No, I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?" she asked. Damn. Stupid Tawni. She's too smart for her own good.

"I…I never said I did," I said.

**Good comeback Chad!**

Shut-up Chad!

"Oh, your lips say 'I don't care' but your eyes say 'I do care!' Now you just tell your friend to back from me, Tawni Hart!" I stared at her. Just when I thought she was smart. "Well, not from me, from me!" I rubbed my shoulder where she hit it. That hurt.

"You'll never take me alive!" James yelled. I bet I could take him. Right after I ice my arm, it hurts! I had to ask him, just in case Tawni was playing with me.

"Dude, are you taking Sonny out?" I asked. Please say no.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't," I said quickly.

"Yeah, I get that from your eyes," he said. What is with my eyes?

**Well, they are very telltale. You should work on hiding your emotions better.**

Butt out Chad!

"You'll still never take me alive! But I forgot something!" he yelled in the direction of the scene, rolling back in. I sat back down, looking at my eyes. My stylist looked at me funny.

"This is good, you want some lamb?" I asked. She shook her head. My eyes aren't telltale. Stupid Tawni. Stupid James. Stupid Sonny for saying yes to James. Stupid Chad for liking Sonny and her cuteness.

**Stupid cute.**

* * *

7 o'clock. They'll be halfway through their date by now. That's it, I have to stop it!

"Portlyn? I need your car," I called.

"You own a car!"

"Oh yeah." I ran to the garage and jumped in. I have to stop this date. I got there and saw Tawni walking in. Great. I wouldn't be doing this by myself.

"Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?" I asked, sliding in next to James. Of course Tawni had to take the seat next to Sonny. She looked so cute.

**Focus Chad!**

Right. Stupid cute.

"Chicken fingers and ski ball! What are you doing here?" he asked. I smirked. We

all went around, asking what the other was doing here. It felt like group therapy.

"Do you want to make a break for it? I know how to tuck and roll," he said.

"I am right behind you!" Sonny said. They tried to leave, but Tawni and I pulled them back.

"Who's up for some chicken fingers and ski ball?" Tawni asked, laughing nervously. I looked at the menu. I wonder if they have lamb? It got quiet. Awkward.

"So…" I said, trying to fill the silence.

"So!" James said, glaring at me.

"So…" Tawni said.

"So," Sonny said, smiling her too wide, "I'm very pissed right now" smile. "How about you and I partake in a friendly game of air hockey," Sonny said, grabbing Tawni's arm. Ha-ha. Sonny's really pissed, and for once isn't taking it out on me.

James and I sat in an awkward silence.

"So…you having a good time on your date?" I asked, trying to fill the gap…again.

"I was until it was rudely interrupted," he shot. Why do I always have to talk?

**Yeah. Why can't you learn to close your big mouth?**

Yeah. Hey! Shut-up Chad! You said that too!

"Tawni's a piece of work, right?" I asked. Maybe I can trick him into not being mad at me!

"Oh, she is so cute when she's angry!" James sighed.

"Sonny's always cute. She can't do anything without it being cute," I said.

**OH CRAP, DID WE SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!**

I THINK WE DID!

"Stupid cute," I muttered.

"I was talking about Tawni!" he yelled. Did he just say what I think he just said? GROSS!

**Right? Tawni is so mean. Oh my Cyrus…I think I feel that lamb coming back up.**

"I'm sorry I thought you said Tawni," I said, trying to clarify.

"I did."

**Oh yeah. Watch out buddy, that lamb is not a happy camper.**

"Oh she hates me so much. I love it!" he screamed. Tawni? Cute? How about revolting?

Sonny came and flopped down angrily. I watched Tawni leave.

"Woo. I mean I thought she'd never leave," I said. Sonny glared at me. "So…who wants chicken fingers?" I asked. Sonny glared at me.

**I don't think she wants us here.**

No shit Sherlock!

"I can take a hint," I said, easing out of my seat. Gosh, she looked cute.

_**I just wanna know if you feel it too  
There is nothing left to hide**_

That last line was so wrong. I have plenty to hide. She doesn't care about me that way.

* * *

"Chad?" a voice asked. I looked up from my book. Sonny? What the hell is she doing in here?

"Sonny?" I asked. I put my bookmark in my book.

"Chad, I was wondering…wait, are you reading?" she asked.

"Yes. I do have a brain, you know," I said.

**Please don't ask us what we're reading!**

"What are you reading?" she asked. **Damn!**

"Um…a book," I said.

"Very helpful," she said. "So anyway," she continued. She grabbed my book. DAMN! "_Pride and Prejudice_? Didn't know you liked books like that," she said. She handed it back.

"Don't tell anyone," I asked.

"Sure. So I was wondering…do you want to go on a date?" she asked.

I froze. My heart rose to the sky. Did she just ask me out?  
"On a date date?" I asked.

"No…" she said quickly.

_**You might need time to think it over  
But I'm just fine moving forward**_

Don't back out. We can do this!

"A fake date. To make James jealous," she clarified.

**REJECTED!**

Shut-up Chad! She rejected you too!

**Oh yeah…**

"Oh." Heart sinking into stomach. "Why would I want to do something like that? James has never harmed me. Although…I still don't know where my phone is…" I mused aloud. I'm not helping her. Why should I? It's not like I like her or anything.

**Chad? You do li-**

I know that Chad! Do you need to be so literal!

"Chad? Are you listening?" Sonny asked.

"Sorry. What was that?" I asked. I really need to stop doing that.

"He hasn't harmed you yet, but he will," Sonny said.

"How?

"They'll replace you on Mackenzie Falls," she said.

"Sonny? I'm Mackenzie. You can't replace Mackenzie from Mackenzie Falls," I pointed out to her.

"They do it on General Hospital and those kinds of soap operas all the time," Sonny pointed out. "They'll replace you with James," she said.

"Why?"

"Because he's nicer."

"He dumped you for Tawni. Apparently he's not so nice," I pointed out.

"The press and adults think he's nice, and they're all that count. Nobody likes you. They can and _will_ replace you," Sonny said, leaning in close. I leaned back. When she put it like that…

"Okay, so let's say I decide to help you. There's no catch, right?" I asked.

"Nope. Just pretend to be my boyfriend for a night," she said. I nodded.

"I'll do it."

Oh gosh, what did I just agree to? I'll never make it out of that alive.

* * *

We walked into the restaurant. She yanked me back.

**She's not backing out, is she? **

There's nothing to back out of. It's not a real date.

**Oh yeah.**

"Quick! Hold my hand!" Sonny commanded. This night is going to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.

**Right? I mean, you can't be ****next to**** Sonny without your heart beating a mile a minutes, let alone hold hands with her!**

Shut-up Chad!

"Don't tell me what to do!" I said, trying to cover up my red face.

"We're on a fake date, we have to make it look believable!" she said. Well maybe if you hadn't told me it was a fake date then this would seem more believable!

"Well…" I wanted to come up with some kind of excuse. Then I made the mistake of looking at her cute face. Stupid cute. "…if you want to hold hands, you have to switch sides," popped out of my mouth. Wow, that was a lame excuse.

"Why?"

**Trapped. Trapped like rats. We have to tell her we like her!**

"Because this is my holding hand!" I said. She groaned but switched sides.

"Look, and just so you know, this is our first and last fake date," she said. Heart going down to my stomach.

"Good."

"Good. Now smile like you're having the time of your life!" I smiled. And that is why I am in charge and you, Chad, are not.

**Way to go bro!**

Thank you.

I helped her to her seat, and sat down on the other side. We smiled, and she looked right at James. I wonder what any girl sees in that creep? We continued staring at each other, making googly eyes. I didn't really need to act. Sonny is so cute. I can't stop making googly eyes at her. She's so cute. Stupid cute.

"Quick! They're looking this way! Put your arm around me!" Sonny ordered. If she wouldn't asked nicely!!

"Well I would, but you sat on the wrong side. This arm says 'Let's cuddle' and this arm says 'Hey good game bro'!'" I explained. She gave me a death glare.

"Well I'm saying just put one of them around me!" she whispered fiercely. I put my arm around her. That felt nice. What would make this moment absolutely perfect is if she had her head in my shoulder.

"Hey, you should probably put your head in my shoulder," I said. She did.

**YES! What base would this be? **

Well…not even first.

**Oh…well it still feels nice.**

Yeah…

"This is nice…" Sonny said. Heart lifting to the Heavens! "…in theory." Aw, she doesn't want to admit she loves me. I know she loves me!

"Yeah…we make a good couple…" I said.

**WARNING: YOU JUST ADMITTED HAVING MORE THAN PLATONIC FEELINGS FOR SONNY MONROE! YOU MORON!**

CRAPOLA!

"…hypothetically," I added.

**SAVED!**

"He's looking this way. In reality!" she said. We started making faces. My heart was beating really fast, being so close to her.

**You sap.**

If I have to say "shut-up Chad" one more time…

**Fine…sap.**

Oh, you're grounded!

**You can't ground me I'm you.**

I'll figure out something!!

"Look! I got a text. From…you?" Sonny said, looking at her phone.

"That jerk still has my phone??" I asked. That butt hole!

"And he already wants me back!"

**That's not good. This date is going to be a lot shorter than you thought it would be.**

"Already," I whispered sadly.

"I know. How good are we?" she asked. Too good.

"Well, well, well, well," Nico said. SHIT! He thinks we're going out. Wait, is that a bad thing? I'm tuning out now. I don't really care what those two lunkheads from Chuckle City say. James walked up. SHIT! He heard the conversation.

"No! This is real," Sonny said. I put my arm around her. "As real as can be."

"Oh so you're lying to us?" Grady asked.

"No!"

"Wait, so you're lying to me?" James asked. Spiraling out of control!

"NO! Would I do this if I were on a fake date?" she asked coyly.

**What's she going to-**

OMA! She's kissing us!

**Wait. That didn't taste right. More like ski ball.**

Let me bask in this moment Chad, don't ruin the moment.

**Sorry dude.**

"Come on dude, back me up here!" James begged. This moment couldn't get any better!

"Yeah, you're on here. And I want my phone back," I said to him. Sonny sat down opposite of me. "So…that was some kiss," I said.

"What do you mean? That kiss was fake," she laughed. NO!!!!

"No it was not!" My dignity is dying along with my pride. This will not do.

"Chad, I put my hand over your mouth!"

**DAMN IT!**

"Well, that explains why your lips tasted like ski ball and air hockey," I said, for lack of anything better to say.

**What do we do?**

We've got to hit her with something. Something that will sting.

**What about how she tricked you a few days after she met you?**

Genius Chad.

"Do you actually think I would really kiss you?" she asked. Heart sinking into the bottom of the ocean.

**That was poetic.**

I have my moments.

"That's what I'm putting on my blog!" I said.

**Grand exit!**

Tuck and roll!

I tucked and rolled out but not before looking at Sonny and saying:

"PEACE OUT SUCKERS, HAH!" I walked out.

_**I don't want my love to go to waste.**_

_**I want you and your beautiful soul.**_

If I'd gone out on a fake date with any other girl, I'd have her eating out of my hand after ten minutes. But Sonny…she's something else.

_**She's just the girl I'm looking for.**_

NOT THAT SONG AGAIN!

**What can we do to get it out of our head?**

Um…think of Sonny. And her cute face. And her cute laugh. Cute nose. Cute…damn it.

Stupid cute.

* * *

And there we have it. Sorry it took so long. I hope you like it. I have to give my sis props for this, b/c she did help a bit with the story. So, woo-hoo little sis! Okay, so tell me if you liked it. Or don't...I guess that's okay. But i'd prefer if you did.


	3. Cover Girl

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs  
Chapter 3: Cover Girl

Summary: Chad's POV to Episode 11, Promises, Prom-misses. Brownie Points to anyone who can name the band that sing the song. And if anyone would like to suggest a song for the next chapter, I would greatly appreciate it. This isn't the whole episode because a lot happened, so this episode will be cut in two. Enjoy.

* * *

"CHAD!" a voice yelled. I froze. Please no, please, I am begging, let it not be she. I turned around to see a 42-year-old blonde woman dressed like she was a 16 year old from the eighties.

**It is she. Shit.**

Aunt Alexis. She was forever stuck in the eighties and trained her kids to be like that as well. She had four kids, each named after some famous eighties person. Their names were (in age order) Donnie, Ally, Emilio, and Pat. The only normal one was Ally. She loved eighties music and movies, but didn't scare people away. I liked her. We played pranks on each other all the time.

"Aunt Alexis, hi," I said, plastering on a smile. Alexis came to hug me.

"Oh, I just missed you so much!" she said. I saw Ally smile.

"Shut-up!" I mouthed. Alexis let go.

"We decided we were going to visit our favorite cousin for a few weeks," Pat said.

"Well, I've got to get ready for a scene, but you can go to see the director and he'll find a place for you," I said. They all walked off except Ally. She smiled.

"Nice to see you Chad," she said. I looked her over. Her mom bought her clothes and cut her hair so she looked like Ally Sheedy from the Breakfast Club.

"Nice to see you too Ally. What have you been up to?" I asked.

"Nothing much," she said. She suddenly smiled evilly. I remembered I was the last one to pull anything.

**That's not good.**

You think?

"Well, I must be off," I said, trying to edge away.

**Let's hope she doesn't start singing. 80's songs are so catchy.**

"Bye Chad," she said. She started to singing. "I get up in the morning and I see your face girl," she sang.

**I jinxed us.**

Now Cover Girl is going to be stuck in my head all day. I ran over to make-up.

"Sing something," I ordered.

"What?" the girl asked.

"Anything!" I pleaded. I sat down in the chair.

"Oh, oh-oh, she's my cover girl. Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh," she sang. Oh, man! The girl sang Cover Girl the whole time she was doing my make-up, then handed me a script.

"Why do I have a black eye?"

"You're going to get into a fight on the show," she said. I nodded. "Now go film," she ordered. I walked off, reading my script.

_**Dont you know you're my kind, youre just what I like  
Girl youre everything, dont you know youre alright  
The only girl Ive always needed for so long**_

The song reminded me of Sonny. Just like every other pop song that got stuck in head. Granted, this one was an 80's pop song, but was never the less a pop song.

**Why does it remind you of Sonny?**

She's the girl for me. The only girl I've liked for this long.

**Which is really saying something considering our short attention span. Although, you know she's only been here for about 7 months. **

I know, but like you said, that's a long time for us.

**Yeah…**

I rammed into someone.

"Whoa, watch it…" It was Sonny. Speak of the Devil…or an angel…

"Chad?" she said. She sounded concerned. She saw my black eye. Aw, she cares about me after all. "Oh my gosh, what happened?" she asked.

"I got into a huge fight over at the Falls," I explained.

"They don't like you either?" she asked.

**Ouch.**

"Funny," I said. "No, we were shooting a scene."

**Hey Chad, look. Her hair is really shiny today. **

Yeah…

**Although, she looks kind of pale. **

She does. Guess I should add some color, huh?

"I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad, huh?" I said. I smiled at her. She just looked at her phone. "Normally that would've charmed you, what's up with you?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home and I just got some pictures from my best friends," she said.

**She did not just say the p-word. **

I think she did. I do not want to think about my 7th grade prom thingy. That was traumatizing.

"You're not missing much," I said.

**Chad? Do we really want her to know what happened?**

Right…hm…what's a good lie that might make her feel better? OH!

"I've been to a bunch of proms and they've all ended in disaster," I said. That's kind of true.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," she said, leaning towards me. She smelled so good, like strawberries. Strawberries never smelled better.

"Yeah, episode 10 my hair caught on fire, last year's season finale my date wound up being my long lost sister," I rambled on.

**You did not just say that, did you?**

What do you mean, me? You said it too. You know, when I say something cool, you take the credit, but when I'm an idiot, you pretend you don't know me! You take me for what I am, or leave me!

**That's a song Chad…I don't know you, I really don't.**

SEE?

**That's the privelage of being your conscience.**

I never said you were my conscience!

"What? Um, Chad, those are fake proms."

Help me Conscience Chad!

**Forget that, I'm not your conscience, remember?**

Um…

"Fake proms, real proms, they all stink," I said, brushing past her. I need to get out of there, she's making my head spin.

_**No other girl could make me feel the way you do**_

**Chad, this isn't the time!**

Right.

"No they don't! They're romantic! You know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and having that perfect dance with a very special guy," she said, sighing. I hope she's thinking about me.

"And he gets hit on the head by a faulty disco ball, episode 16," I said, trying to get away before I said something stupid like, "I could be that special guy."

"You know what Chad? You wouldn't know a real romance if it punched you in the face," she said. I know I like you, don't I? "In fact, you wouldn't know a real punch in the face if it punched you in the face because there's nothing real about you," she added.

**Oh yes we would know a punch. It's the reason we don't like prom. **

Forget that, she just called us fake!

"Well here's something real for you: I really don't want to stand here and talk to you," I said, trying to get away. Damn strawberries and shiny hair.

"Good. Because I really don't want to stand here and talk to you," she said.

"Good."

"Good." I realized we did that a lot. That and "fine," but I don't care. Whatever I can do that lets me talk to her longer.

"Good." We walked away. My phone vibrated, then went off. I picked it up.

"Good," Sonny said. I looked at her.

Do you think she likes us?

**You can never tell with girls. Although, you can't really tell with guys either.**

I walked away, but wanted to keep talking to her.

"Good."

"Good."

**Chad, there are words for people like you. They're called obsessed and they are on the news a lot because they get thrown in jail for stalking girls that they like. Do you want to be like that? Or like Emilio Estevez's character from **_**St. Elmo's Fire**_**? Huh? **

Shut-up Chad! Don't bring up anything from the 80's; we'll be getting enough of that from Aunt Alexis.

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good and goodbye," Sonny yelled, finally hanging up. I sighed. I wished we could have one conversation without it ending so badly.

"Hey Chad," someone said. There was Ally, sitting in my chair.

"Get out of my chair," I said. She got up and I sat down until I was called up.

"So I heard you talking to that girl, Sonny," Ally started.

"So…"

"So, you like her," she stated. She didn't ask, she stated it.

"No I don't!" I said.

"Of course not. It's okay, you can tell me. I'm not going to tell Alexis," she said. I stared at her for a few seconds, and then nodded.

"Yeah, I like her, but honestly who doesn't? She's really nice and she's cute," I sighed.

"Chad's in love," she sang.

"Buzz off," I said.

"So did I get the NKOTB song stuck in your head?" she asked, grinning.

"Yeah…it reminds me of Sonny," I moaned. She smiled.

"You'll get her eventually."

"How do you know?"  
"Because she likes you too," Ally said, walking away. I looked after her.

"CHAD! Get on stage!" the director yelled. I got up…or tried to. I was stuck. How was I…Ally.

"I'm stuck," I said. A few crewmembers walked over. They examined the chair, and then went to go get something to unstick me. "Since I have nothing to do…" I pulled out my phone and dialed Sonny's number.

"Hello?" she sang into the phone.

"Good." I heard her breathe angrily into the phone. Oh, I get under her skin too.

* * *

By 12 o'clock word had spread everywhere that Sonny was having a prom behind Marshall's back. I laughed when I heard it. Sonny, go behind Marshall's back? There was no way!

"CHAD!" I walked the other way. Donnie was coming. He got on my nerves. "Hey Chad!" I turned around. He knew I heard him.

"Hey Donnie," I said.

"Look at this, a secret prom!" he said. He showed me the flyer. Wow Sonny. You truly take the cake.

"Cool. I guess you'll be going," I said.

"Yeah. I was thinking of taking that girl on _So Random!_" he said.

"Tawni?"

"No, the other one, the one with the big smile." My blood boiled.

"You can't!" I blurted out.

**Good one idiot.**

"Why not?"

"Because…she's got a boyfriend. He's the big, nasty, jealous type. You wouldn't want to cross him," I said.

**Nice save.**

Yeah, no thanks to you.

"Oh. Guess I'll ask Tawni then," Donnie said, walking off.

"You know," Ally said, coming up from behind me, "someone might ask her if you don't."

"I know, I…I'm just…"

"Scared she'll say no?"

"Well…maybe," I admitted.

"Just ask her, I swear she likes you," Ally said. I looked at her. It seemed like she was telling the truth. Why not?

"Okay. I'll go ask her right now," I said.

**You better hurry before you chicken out. I hate to say it Chad, but you are chicken shit.**

Shut-up Chad!

"Still talk to yourself?" Ally asked. I smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah…I should be going," I said. I ran to Chuckle City to find Sonny. I saw her walking out of Studio 3. "Oh, hey Sonny-"

"Sorry Chad, can't talk right now, I'm in a hurry," she said, brushing past me.

"Oh right, right that 'secret prom,'" I said.

**Ask her!**

Don't boss me around! "You know, it's not much of a secret when all of the kids in the loft are walking around with flyers that say…secret prom," I told her, holding up the flyer. She blushed.

"Aren't you exited? I am so exited! I'm exited about how exited I am!" she said. I was happy she was so exited. She was going to say no, wasn't she? Oh my goodness, Ally was wrong.

**Ask her. You'll never know until you ask her!**

"Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls, we mostly think it's…dumb," I said.

**Idiot.**

"Well, if you think it's so dumb then maybe you and you're little snobby friends over at _Mackenzie Falls_ shouldn't come," she said.

"Well, maybe we won't," I said.

"Good, because you are officially uninvited," she said.

"Good, because we officially wouldn't have come anyway."

"You're only saying that because I just uninvited you," she said.

"You're only uninviting me because I just said I didn't want to come," I pointed out.

"Are we done here?"

"Oh, beyond done."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

"Good."

"So we're good?" she asked. I didn't want to see yes. I wanted to take it all back and tell her I was in love with her. I opened my mouth and:

"Oh, we're so good." I walked away.

**Idiot.**

"Idiot," I heard Ally say. I looked up to see her standing there.

"Shut-up both of you!" I yelled.

"When the voice in your head and I start agreeing with each other, you know you're in the wrong," she said.

"Oh…I just really hope Donnie doesn't ask her out," I said. We walked back to the set of _Mackenzie Falls_ in silence.

"So Chad, what time does the prom start?" Portlyn asked.

"We're not invited," I said.

"NO!" she yelled. "Why?"

"We are not invited because…because Sonny doesn't like you," I lied.

"NO!" Portly yelled, running away.

"You are heartless," Ally said.

**I agree.**

"I'm going to bed!" I said, stalking off to my room. I lay down and grabbed the magazine that had the cast on it. I looked through, looking at all the weird expressions on the model's faces. It always cracked me up. I heard a rustle outside my window. I opened it to find Sonny crawling around outside it. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"I was on my way to ask Portlyn if she wanted to come without anyone else because I know she's always wanted to go to a prom when I dropped my lipstick," Sonny explained, not looking up.

"Oh. That was…nice of you," I said. Sonny looked up. I noticed she didn't have any make-up on.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked.

"Um…your make-up," I said.

"Oh, yeah, I know I don't look so hot without it on-"

"No. It's not that, you look…"

**Say it Chad. Just say it.**

"What?" Sonny prompted.

"Beautiful." I can't believe I just said that! Oh my goodness, I just said that!

"Oh…thanks Chad. Um…" she stuttered.

_**When I look through the pages of a magazine  
Still, your pretty face is the prettiest Ive seen  
**_She stood up and I realized we were barely two inches apart.

"I'm sure your prom is going to be amazing," I said. She smiled.

"Thanks Chad. You know…it would be nice if you came," she said.

"Prom isn't really my thing," I said. She moved a bit closer. I couldn't think. The smell of strawberries overwhelmed me. We were so close I could count every beautiful, curly eyelash she had. I was about to lean in, ready to kiss her. This is it. The moment I had been waiting for the past seven months.

"CHAD!" a voice screamed. I jumped up, hitting my head on the window pane.

"Ouch."

"Are you okay Chad?" Sonny asked.

"Not really," I said bitterly. I turned around. There was stupid Pat. "What do you want?" I asked.

"Aunt Alexis wants to talk to you," she said. I nodded.

"You could've knocked," I said.

"But I didn't, now come on!"

I turned around to see Sonny…she was gone. Damn.

"Chad?" a kinder voice asked. It was Ally. "Do you want me to kill Pat for you?"

"No…yeah. Go ahead," I said.

"You will be together eventually," Ally said. "I promise." I smiled bitterly.

"Cross your heart?"

"Cross my heart _and_ hope to die."

* * *

Yes? NO? Maybe?


	4. Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs

Chapter 4: Are You Gonna Be My Girl?: Do You Really Want A Pop Song Stuck In Your Head?

Note: This song isn't a pop song, but I like this song, it fit, and I figured Chad deserved a break. Second part of Promises, Prom-misses. I hope to have the next chapter up soon.

* * *

"Prom starts in five minutes. I can sneak you in if you want me to," Ally offered.

"How?"

"Have you seen the dress that Portlyn is wearing? You could fit the entire population of China behind it and not even Homeland Security would realize it!" Ally laughed. I smiled, but shook my head.

"Maybe later," I said.

"Okay." She started humming.

**Tune her out!**

I'm trying!

"I'm not humming an 80's song! Although my mom says it would have done really good in the 80's as well as today's music," Ally said.

"What song?" I asked.

"_Are You Gonna Be My Girl_ by JET," Ally said.

**I love that song…and I bet I could relate it to Sonny somehow.**

It's not a pop song.

**Do you really want to have pop songs stuck in our head until **_**you**_** get the courage to ask her out? **

There we go with that "you" thing again. But yeah, I see your point.

"YES!" Donnie yelled triumphantly.

"What?" I asked, fearing what he was about to say.

"Sonny promised me a dance," he said, smiling.

"Yippee for you," I pouted. Ally shooed him away.

_**Well I could see,  
You home with me,  
But you were with another man, yeah!**_

**Shit. I'm sorry. **

Great. That song is going to be stuck in our head forever, thanks Chad!

"Wow, you really do have actual conversations with yourself. Amazing," Ally said, shaking her head. I blushed.

**You just said that aloud didn't you?**

Again with the "you" thing! Yes, I believe _we_ just did.

"I'm gonna go now. If you change your mind, just call me and I'll get Portlyn," Ally said. I nodded and flopped down onto my bed.

**We should continue reading. What book are we reading now?  
**Um…A Christmas Carol.

**GREAT! Well…let's get reading!**

I picked up the book and attempted to read it, but my mind kept straying back to Sonny.

**We should go to the prom.**

Yeah I probably should. I'll go get a suit.

**What do you mean, just you? I'm going with!**

Now you know how it feels!

**Wow, that hurts. Sorry.**

I went to go get a suit and walked over to the prom. I turned the corner and stepped on some stuff.

**Oh man, these shoes are really expensive!**

Look, it's Sonny.

_**Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks  
Now you don't need that money  
When you look like that, do ya honey.**_

Even dressed as a mermaid she looked beautiful.

"Hey, I had three more seconds!" Sonny yelled. I looked down. Gross I just stepped on food. "Chad? What are you doing here you weren't invited!" Sonny said.

**If you don't want to tell her the truth than confuse her with a bunch of words!**

Good idea!

"Well I was invited, but I didn't want to go than I was uninvited so I knew I had to go," I said quickly, trying to brush past her.

"No no no no! You're not going into my prom before I do," she said, stepping in front of me.

**Ooh, look at those, I'm hungry! Go get some.**

No don't – hey! You are not allowed to control me! We're going to have a long talk when we get home mister!

"And these are for invited guests," she said, pulling the food away.

"So you're saying I can't have one?" I asked just to clarify.

"Yeah, you heard me."

"Well, I have to have one," I said. I reached with one hand, and she turned it way, got it with the other and walked towards the door. Works every time.

"HEY!"

"Mm, this tastes good. You know where it would taste even better? At your prom!" I said, smiling. I haven't said anything slightly rude all day, and Sonny is pissing me off.

I went in. I danced, talked to Ally, ate, talked to the Other Chad, ate. I just wished Sonny were here.

"Hey there," a girl said. I looked up to find a girl holding a Number Five bag.

**She's gorgeous.**

"Hi," I said.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Sure," I said. She dragged me out to the dance floor. It was a slow song, of course. We swayed and I tried to keep my mind off of Sonny. The song ended but she held onto me.

"One more?"

"Sure," I said, smiling at her. Guess what song came on? You guessed it, _Are You Gonna Be My Girl?_

"I love this song!" she said. When the song ended she smiled. "That was fun."

"Yeah, you're a good dancer Sonny."

**Shit.**

Oh fudge me.

"Sonny?" Number Five asked.

"Um…" was all I could say.

"Great, just great. This happens all the time. Look, I say this to every other guy. If you like her, go dance with her! Don't try to rebound!" the girl yelled, walking away. I went back over to Ally. She giggled.

"Not funny."

"You're right…it was hilarious!"

"Shut-up!"

"Tare it all down!" I heard Sonny yell suddenly.

"Why?" Tawni asked.

"Marshall's coming!" she yelled. Everyone ran around, trying to get rid of everything. I grabbed a few decorations and plates of food myself, and ran off before Marshall came. Ally followed. We ran to the kitchen to deliver the food.

"Where are those kids?" Marshall muttered, walking past the kitchen.

"Sonny's gonna get it," Ally whispered. "You should be there to comfort her."

"Yeah. That would be a good idea," I said. I walked to the studio to find Sonny standing there, all by herself. She looked so sad. I looked at her shoes and realized she had changed them from those weird high heels to more comfy black boots, but they still seemed to match her dress.

**That's the weirdest dress I have ever seen. **

Yeah…but she pulls it off.

**_Big black boots,  
Long brown hair,  
She's so sweet  
With her get back stare._**

That about sums it up. I figured it was about time to show myself.

"Hey. See you finally made it," I noted.

"Chad? What are you still doing here I thought you'd be the first to go," she said.

"Which is exactly why I had to be the last to go," I said. I saw the faint trace of a smile on her face. Then she said:

"Chad you were right. All proms end in disaster."

"Do they Sonny? Do they really?" I said, using one of my catchphrases to make her laugh. It worked. I smiled. I continued on. "Because sometimes I heard you get to have that perfect dance with that one special person," I said. I got closer and closer. She still looked pretty sad. I decided now was the time for a small joke. "You're just gonna have to settle for me." I pulled out my ear buds and this time she did smile. I handed one to her.

The lights went down and I looked up to see Ally next to the light box. I smiled. We started to sway.

"This is sweet," she said softly.

"I have my moments," I gloated. She giggled.

"You gonna press play?" she asked.

"Oh right, sorry," I said. I pressed play and a fast song came on. Oh well. We started dancing. Even though we weren't slow dancing, it was still cool. After that song ended another one came on, a slow one.

"So can I ask you a question?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Why do you hate proms so much?" she asked. We started swaying.

"Um…promise you won't tell a soul?" I asked.

"Not a-one."

"Well, for my seventh grade prom I had asked this girl that I had a huge crush on. We got there and it turned out she had a boyfriend. They had gotten into a fight so she said yes to the first guy that asked her. He got pissed when he saw us and beat the crap out of me. She didn't help. They left happy and I left with a black eye," I explained.

"That sucks. You could've told me," she scolded.

"I thought you would laugh. Everyone does," I said.

"I'm not everyone," she said. She leaned in to kiss me.

"CHAD! Mommy wants…oh. Um…I'll just…" Emilio trailed off. I glared at him and saw Ally run up.

"You're dead meat!" she yelled. He screamed and ducked under her arm. Sonny laughed.

"Who are they?" she asked.

"My annoying cousins," I said. "Well, Ally isn't annoying, but the rest of them are." I looked up at the clock and found it was getting late and Sonny believed in that early to bed early to rise crap.

_**I know we,  
Ain't got much to say,  
Before I let you get away, yeah!  
I said, are you gonna be my girl?**_

"Ooh, it's late. I should probably get to bed, but I want to meet your cousins tomorrow," she said. "Promise you'll introduce me?" she asked.

"Promise," I said. She smiled. She walked off in the direction of her bedroom.

"SONNY?" I called.

**This is it big guy, we're gonna ask her…**

"Yeah?"

"Do you…you look really nice."

"Thanks Chad." She walked off.

"Idiot," I mumbled.

**Idiot.**

"Idiot," I heard Ally say from behind me.

Just great.

At least I got to dance with her, and Donnie didn't.

**Good point.**

**

* * *

**

I liked this chapter, but I guess I'm biased for two reasons. One, because, you know, I wrote it. Two because this is one of my favorite songs.

Sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes. The checker on my computer died and the two people willing to read over my stories are currently busy at this moment.

I would like a review, but you don't have to give one. But it would be nice. I'm just saying.


	5. Catch Me

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs

Chapter 5: Catch Me

Note: This one is ridiculously long. Sorry. I couldn't figure out where to end it. I said it would be up by Wednesday, and it's technically Thursday. So I'm one minute off? Give me a break!

* * *

So, naturally-

**Let me guess. You've got a pop song stuck in your head that reminds you of Sonny.**

You can't let me have that? I just want one thing, just one. You always take credit for all the good stuff; can I take credit for introducing everything? Please? If that's okay with you, Your Annoyingness.

**Right, sorry.**

So like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I do have a pop song stuck in my head that reminds me of Sonny. It's by this singer she was in Camp Rock? You know, the rip-off of Camp Hip-Hop? Her name is Demi Lovato. The song is called _Catch Me _from her new c.d.

**Can I explain how it reminds us of Sonny?**

Take the mic buddy!

**Okay, so it reminds us of Sonny because yesterday while we were embarrassing Ally into the next century about how many guys she's gone out with we realized we haven't actually liked, like genuinely liked a girl for a very long time. The second to last one was from prom, and you know that turned out. The last one…that ended…**

We don't need to bring that up.

**Sorry. So then we got a bit scared. **

**So then we started freaking out about how she won't like us although she loves me it's the idiot over here that controls me he's such a gawky teen and-**

SHUT-UP!

**Right. Anyway, so that's that. We're also thinking of making a movie since the Director said we could. We both want to use Sonny, but at the same time we're scared to. So we're just thinking of casting.**

I thought Selena Gomez. She's pretty, kinda looks like Sonny and did pretty well in Camp Hip-Hop.

"So, Chad? Can I help with the casting?" Ally asked me.

"Of course." We went to the cafeteria to find six different groups of Tawnis, Nicos, and Gradys. Lots of Sonnys. They're all really pretty…but she's the prettiest.

"Chad? You know, you can totally dress for the part of the director," Ally pointed out.

"I don't have an outfit," I told her.

"But I do!" She pulled out a director's outfit out of thin air.

"AWESOME!"

**Sweet!**

"I'll wait in the audition room, okay?" Ally said. I nodded and went to go get changed.

A few minutes later I walked into the cafeteria.

"Okay, first up will be Group 1 of _So Random!_" I yelled through my microphone.

"Chad, what is all of this? I should've known you were behind it!" Sonny scolded. Her eyes looked really pretty. "Why are you dressed like a paperboy?" she asked.

"I'm casting a T.V. movie about my life. Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story, a Chad Dylan Cooper Production," I explained.

**YES! We said our name 3 times in a row! The fact that it was in front of Sonny just adds to the happiness.**

I love our new name.

"I need look-a-likes to play the losers from _So Random!_ No offence," I said. I called up the next group.

"Wait you're auditioning people to play us?"

"When you have the actual losers right here?" Nico said, finishing Sonny's sentence. I wish I could finish her sentences…

**Focus!**

Right.

_**But your so hypnotizing  
You got me laughing while I sing  
You got me smiling in my sleep**_

Isn't that the truth…

**FOCUS!**

"Hey! We're not losers!" Sonny said. Grady grabbed my microphone and started imitating Darth Vader.

"Give me that! That's my microphone!" I yelled. I hate it when people touch my stuff. Unless it's Sonny. She can touch-

**Unless you intended that sentence to be dirty I strongly suggest you don't finish it.**

It's not…oh. It is. Never mind.

I called up the group.

"Group 1, don't move!" Sonny said, taking my microphone. Then they all started complaining about not being able to play theirself.

"FINE! You're all hired," I said, grabbing my microphone back.

**This is our chance to get close to Sonny!**

Yeah…but…I'm going crazy just standing here. We've got to act out all the stuff that's happened.

_**Run far away  
So I can breath  
Even though your far from suffocating me  
I can't set my hopes to high  
Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye**_

**Suck it up!**

"Except for Sonny."

**Morons. I'm living inside the head of a moron!!**

"You have to audition," I told her.

"And I have to condition!" Tawni said, butting in. "I'm in a movie! Hee-hee! Tootles!" she giggled running off. I sighed. That girl can ruin anyone's day.

"But I shouldn't have to audition! Why do I have to audition?" Sonny demanded.

**Lie. Lie! LIE!**

"Because…apparently…you're difficult to work with," I lied. Wow, that was easier than it was supposed to be. I really need to see someone about how easy it is for me to lie.

"Look, I don't have to prove to anybody – least of all you – that I'm the best Sonny Monroe to play Sonny Monroe!" she yelled.

"Do you want the part or not?" I asked her. She nodded. Her hair looked really shiny when she did that. I should ask her more yes or no questions…

**You. Are. Hopeless.**

You. Are. A dork.

"Okay, state your name and the part you're here to read for," I called to Sonny. Sonny rolled her eyes at me. I looked over at Ally, who was working the camera very well for a girl who wasn't allowed to use anything that had been invented after '89. She rolled her eyes at me as well.

"Sonny Monroe reading for the part of Sonny Monroe," Sonny said bitterly.

"There's that attitude again," I whispered very loudly to Ally. She shook her head at me.

"WHAT?!" Sonny screamed. I started with a page and she read.

"Oh my gosh! You're Chad Dylan Cooper, possibly the greatest actor of our – are you kidding me with this?!" she yelled again.

"Sonny, I am giving you a chance here! Read the lines," I told her. She rolled her eyes again but looked back at her script. I told her the back-story and she got mad. She started yelling at me, so I baited her. Then she said she'll never get a better her. And then there was Selena.

"Hey Chad, I got your text and yes I'll pay the part of Sonny. Personally I think the character is kind of dull, but I'll liven her up," Selena said.

**We'll have to have a talk with her about who is the dull one…**

If we say that she'll know we like Sonny!

**Right…I knew that.**

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I'm the dull girl you need to 'liven up,'" Sonny said bitterly.

**Jeez, there's so much tension in here you and it's so thick you would need a freakin' chainsaw to get through it.**

"Awkward," I said. They both looked at me. At least I haven't gotten punched.

**Yet.**

You are no help!

"Chad?" Ally called. "I need to talk to you," she said. I walked away as quickly as possible. That had the potential of getting ugly.

"What's up?"

"My mom says that we're leaving," Ally said sadly.

"NO! You can't leave! You're basically the only person here that likes me! Besides that you need to help me with my movie!" I protested.

"She won't listen to me. Why don't you talk to her?" Ally asked. I nodded.

"Anything."

"Well, come on! She's packing right now!" Ally exclaimed, grabbing my arm. We ran to where they had been staying.

"Auntie Alexis, please stay just a little longer!" I yelled.

"Why? We have to get back for the 80's convention near our hometown. I just wanted to make sure you were alive and healthy," she said. "After all, you never write," she mumbled.

"Please?! I'm begging!"

"I need to help Chad with his movie!" Ally said. "Please can I help with that?"

"If you're bothers and sister can't, then I don't see why you can."

"That's not fair!" Ally protested. "They don't even like Chad! I do!"

"Yeah! Hey…wait a minute!"

"Stick to the point Chad!  
"We're talking about this later missy!"

"Well…If this is okay with you're director…"  
"It is! He loves Ally," I assured Alexis.

"Then…fine." We both hugged Alexis. "GO!" We ran.

"Dodged a bullet there," I said. She nodded. "So…what's this about the other three not liking me?" I asked.

"Um…well, we don't need to get into that, now do we?" Ally said in a high-pitched voice. I recognized the signs from Sonny.

"Fine…for now," I said, letting her off the hook for the moment.

"Okay, so I've got some great ideas for the movie," Ally started.

"I want to ask you something. Should we include my stuff to you about Sonny or not?" I asked.

"Well, if you want it to stay a secret then…wait, you mean I'm going to be in your movie?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, duh. You're my cousin after all," I told her. She smiled.

"Thanks Chad!" she said, hugging me. I hugged her back. "I'm glad I got to stay."

"I am too."

**Me too.**

"Other Chad says he's happy too," I told her.

"Thanks Other Chad!"

**I don't consent to this "Other Chad" shit!**

"Well, what do you want to be called?" I asked.

"How about…Chad 2?" Ally suggested.

**Why do I have to be 2?**

"He is such a diva!"

"We'll figure something out," Ally laughed. She hugged us again.

My day was really turning out awesome.

**Now all we need is for you to get over your stupid fears and tell Sonny you like her, possibly love her. Of course, because you are chicken shit, we all know **_**that's**_** never going to happen.**

YOU…you…need to…shut-up!

**I love my power.**

* * *

"Okay, so are we going to use the real Portlyn?" I asked.

"Um…no. I don't think so. Why?" Ally asked.

"I hired an actress," I told her. She laughed.

"If you hadn't, I was going to," she said. "We better hurry or we're going to be late!" she said suddenly, looking at her watch. We ran to the scene.

**That day when we were so afraid that Sonny was just like any other girl and we had charmed her.**

Little did we know she was the complete opposite of our first impression.

"Alright people, here we go. Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story. Ms. Selena Gomez enters on right, Take One!" I yelled into my microphone. "Ms. Gomez, on your mark," I said. She walked off. I turned around to see Sonny.

**Get her off stage she's distracting us.**

No she's not.

**She will. **

_**I'm terrified of what you'll do  
My stomach screams just when I look at you**_

She looks so pretty. Her hair is extra shiny. Her eyes are all sparkly. Whoa gosh, stomach doing back flips.

**She already has distracted you.**

Right.

"No extras on stage," I told her. She rolled her eyes. I gave a quick pep talk then called action. I started the lines that I remembered from that beautiful day.

"Look Portlyn. Summer's almost over and once Fall comes back to the Falls I need to be free," I said, trying to say it the way I did that day. "Shhh…time for talking's over," I said. Just to let you know, that scene actually did lead to a make-out session. I can't believe I guessed that one.

**Right? That was such a hard one. We were using sarcasm right?**

This is why you are Chad 2. YES! That was sarcasm!

"What's the matter with you?!" Selena screamed. It just wasn't the same.

"What's the matter with me, what's the matter with-" I yelled.

**Perfect.**

Thank you.

"Those words didn't come out of your mouth," I said.

"Portlyn, you've got great legs, let's see how they move," Selena said. She fake punched Portlyn. Damn. I forgot stupid ass Donny wrote that in and I forgot to take it out. Oh well. It's not like anyone likes Portlyn or her character anyway.

"Hey! I never punched-"

"SHH!" Ally said. Ally looked back into the camera.

"What are you doing here? You can't just barge in on Chad Dylan Cooper while he's in the middle of making _Mackenzie Falls _magic!" I said. I had made sure I threw in my full name here and there.

"I think I've made my point!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!" Selena jumped in to kiss me. "WHOA!" I yelled, falling back.

"Cut! Cut! CUT IT OUT!" Sonny screamed. Selena got off of me. I sat up and Ally ran over.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Shocked."

"At least you're still alive," she said.

"Yeah…" I blinked a few times. This was weird. All though I had wanted the real Sonny to do that…so badly…I didn't want a teenie bopper like Selena Gomez telling me that's what I wanted. Why would Sonny kiss me?

**You're right. She totally wants to kiss me more.**

She doesn't know you exist!

Ally walked us over to our seat.

"You know…" she said with a smile. "Sonny's hair looks really shiny today."

"Yeah…" I gushed. She laughed. "You just did that to laugh at me, didn't you?" I asked. She just nodded, she was laughing so hard. "Not funny." I looked at my seat. "You didn't…?"

"No. No glue this time."

"Good."

"Hey, I heard Selena say something was wrong with her mirror. Like, the tinting was off or something," Ally told me.

"I'll go check it out." I walked over to Selena's little place. Sonny had just walked away looking weird and a little pissed.

"Thinks I'm actually wizard," Selena said in to her voice recorder.

"Wow, what's up with her?" I asked. I sat down in Selena's chair and looked into her mirror. The tinting did seem off. I'll get her a new one.

**Ooh…we look good.**

Yes. We. Do.

"Oh, I think she's upset because of how much you like her," Selena said. Sonny…tee-hee!

"Right, right…"

**CHAD! IF I HAVE TO WARN YOU ONE MORE TIME ABOUT YOUR ADMITTANCE OF LIKING SONNY MONROE, YOU'RE GROUNDED!**

You can't ground me! I'm in charge. I'll get back to you in a moment, mister!

"What?!" I asked. "What, no, I don't like Sonny. Where'd you get that idea?" I asked.

"You know Chad? You and Sonny may be good at playing characters, but you're terrible at playing yourselves," she said, walking away.

**Say something before she spills it!**

"Hey you know, for-for you information 172 people auditioned for the part of Chad Dylan Cooper, and I hired me baby!" I yelled after her.

**Nice save. **

Sarcasm is _my _thing, okay?

"Psst! Chad! Chad!" a voice whispered. I turned around and there was Sonny.

"What?" I whispered back.

"She's crazy!" she whispered.

"I know. I don't like you," I whispered.

"Me neither."

"Yeah, I mean…why are we whispering?" I asked.

"Oh. I don't know," she said, coming up to normal volume. She was sitting on Selena's desk. I sat down next to her. She smelled good. She smelled like cinnamon. It was suffocating me. Man, I wanted to kiss her soooooo bad.

She scooted a bit closer.

"I don't like you at all," she said, but it wasn't so convincing. Who was she trying to convince?

**Not breathing. Cinnamon has never smelled this good. She's too close. I feel…different.**

Another song pops into mind. _Chemicals React _by Aly & AJ. Although last I heard they had changed their name to 78violets. Anyway…this is what that feels like: a chemical reaction.

**Sonny and I…and when I say I, I mean Chad in general…we were meant to be. Simple as that.**

I'm leaning in. I'm going to kiss her. But I can't.

_**Run far away  
So I can breath  
Even though you're far from suffocating me**_

**Don't run Chad. She's not like those other girls. **

_**And I can see this unraveling  
And your love is where I'm falling**_

**We **_**are**_** falling in love. We are **_**in**_** love! Please Chad. Please. She feels the same way, I know she does. Trust me. Trust me.**

_**But please don't catch me.**_

**You'll never trust another girl again, will you?**

I ran away as fast as my feet could carry me.

"Chad? Chad where are you going? Chad, come back!" I heard Sonny scream. I wanted so bad to turn around. To explain to her why I hadn't asked her out yet, why I was such an asshole around her, why I was running now, but I didn't. I ran until I got to my room and then collapsed onto the bed. I sat there, perfectly still until I felt arms encase me.

"Chad. Calm down. She's different," Ally said.

"How do you know about her?" I asked, referring to the other girl.

"I know a lot more than you give me credit for. And word to the wise: you talk in your sleep," Ally laughed. I leaned back until my head reached her shoulder.

"I know Sonny is. I'm just chicken shit.

"**No you're not chicken shit! You can do this!" **Ally and the other Chad said simultaneously. **"She likes you. You like her. You can do this."**

"If both of you are talking at the same time, it has to mean I should listen."

"Hell yeah," Ally laughed. We sat there for a few minutes. "Although you should already be doing whatever I say," she said thoughtfully.

"The day I do everything you say is the day that you enlighten me on this whole, 'my cousins all hate me thing,'" I told her.

"That's never going to happen."

"Ditto."

"You suck."

"I've been called worse. I've been called worse by Sonny, which is really bad for you, because she has some lame comebacks."

"SHUT-UP!"

* * *

"AND CUT!" I yelled. "Good work people. Now excuse me," I said.

"What's wrong?" Ally asked.

"My beret is sagging and my microphone isn't as loud," I told her. She rolled her eyes. I walked to the costume room.

"I'm ticking off the person the person that's playing me in a movie and maybe I shouldn't do that because she can make me look really bad!" Selena was yelling. I have the worst timing ever.

"Well, look at me I'm Selena…and I'd never do that to you Sonny!" Sonny yelled, her voice getting all high pitched towards the end.

"Hey Selena," I said, smiling. I looked over at Sonny. Whoa, Harry Potter outfit. Whoa, weird Harry Potter outfit. "Hey Scary Potter," I said. She frowned. "Hey don't mind me ladies I'm just here to get a fresh beret and a recharged microphone," I told them. I could feel their eyes on me as I got my stuff. "See you on the set," I told them through my microphone. I walked off.

A few minutes later Selena and I were back on stage.

"Oh Sonny. Funny, funny little Sonny," I sighed. I said my lines. Boy were they cheesy. Did I really write this? Okay, that King of Drama part was definitely me.

"CUT! That's not what happened!" Sonny yelled, pulling a director's chair across stage.

**What the hell is going on?**

"What are you doing here? Get off my set! We're trying to make a movie here," I said. Sonny started talking. Now I know, I like her and all that, but when people start insulting me, I don't pay much attention. So I didn't catch much of what she said.

"Okay, action!" Sonny yelled.

**That's our line!**

Bogus!

"Ally!" I yelled. She ran up and handed me my microphone. "I say action!"

"Well, I say it better! Now, action!"

"Action!"

"Action!"

"Action!"

"Oh would you just do the stupid scene?!" Selena yelled. Sonny walked off. I glared in her direction. Nobody says action except me!

More cheesy lines that I'm not sure I wrote…

"Okay, cut cut cut cut cut!" Sonny screamed.

"Again? REALLY?"

"It's okay, she's helping me!"

"Okay, remember: you're biggest dream is to be on _So Random!_ Chad's just the monster that keeps waking you up!" Sonny yelled. I looked at my feet.

_**She's cold and she's cruel, but she knows what she's doing.  
**__**Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined.**_

**And we're back at this song. You know, this should be her theme song.**

Right? Sonny really knows how to hurt a guy.

"Oh, and remember that you hate him! You just really really hate him!" Sonny yelled.

**Case closed.**

"Oh, and one more thing: he's the worst actor of our generation!"

THAT'S IT!

**OH NO SHE DIDN'T!**

OH YES SHE DID. SONNY MONROE, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

"Ally!" I yelled. Ally handed me the microphone, smiling. I don't see what's funny! "CUT! Cut! Stop the lying!"

"No, you stop the lying!"

"No, you stop the lying!"

"Stop! Stop, just stop it!" Selena yelled. "Gosh, I was wrong! You two should never be together!"

"FINALLY! I've been trying to tell her that all day!" Sonny exclaimed.

"You've been trying to tell her that, I've been trying to tell her that too!" I said.

"Well I told her first! She thinks she's some relationship wizard!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "With her little wizardy magic beans. She thinks she can tell us we can't like each other!" I yelled.

**Careful what you say. Don't say anything stupid.**

"I mean, if I want to like you, I will!" I said.

**Like that.**

"Yeah, and if I want to like you, I will!" Sonny said.

"Yeah, and if I want to think you have pretty hair, I will!" I said.

"Yeah and if I want to think you have sparkly eyes, I will!" Sonny yelled.

"Yeah, so take that Selena!" I yelled.

"In your face Gomez!" Sonny yelled.

"Wow, yes. You guys…you guys got me! There's nothing going on here at all!" Selena finally said.

I detect a hint of sarcasm.

**No! You think? **

"You two are…PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'm out of here!" she yelled. Wait, my Sonny is walking off stage!

"Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?"

"I don't need this. I was in Camp Hip-Hop!" she yelled.

Sonny ran a few steps toward Selena, trying to ass-kiss. Fans. Jeez. Sonny looked down at her shoes. She smiled softly.

"So…you really think I have pretty hair?" she asked quietly. I looked into her eyes. In that second, I felt like a little kid on the playground. I felt like my crush had just been told I liked her. I felt like I was six and I loved it.

"I don't know," I said, scuffing my shoe. "You really think I have sparkly eyes?" I asked.

"I don't know…well, one of them is…" she said. I smiled.

"So…"

**Think of something nice!**

"You wanna be in my movie? I kinda need a Sonny," I offered.

"Fine," she giggled. I smiled.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

**Finally! Those words are said with love!**

"So I'll set you up an audition, 9 o'clock?" I asked, walking away.

**If I had the ability to smack my head into my palm and shake my head, I would do it. Better yet, I would smack your head with my palm!**

"Really Chad? Really?"

"Fine. You have the part," I told her. I looked back to see her smiling and blushing. I looked over at Ally. She was smiling and gave me two thumbs up.

**Oh yeah, we're hot.**

**_And if this is love  
Please don't break me  
I'm giving up  
So just catch me._**

* * *

So??????? I know it was a bit cheesey, but I loved it!!!!!


	6. Opposites Attract

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs

Chapter 6: Opposites Attract

Summary: Tales from the Prop House. Song: Opposites Attract

Note: So sorry I haven't updated in forever and a year. I was in a play, Once On This Island, which is extremely time consuming. The other stories I posted I was able to post because I do not need Internet for those. This one, I do, and our Internet could only be up so long every day. We're back now and I'm not in the play and Thanksgiving Break is coming up so I will be posting like a mad-person to make up for it. Heavens above knows how far I am behind.

* * *

"Chad? Cha-ad? CHAD!" Ally screamed.

"Shit! Why are you yelling at me?" I demanded.

**Some people are so rude.**

"I've been calling you for the past 5 minutes."

"Oh. Sorry."

"What were you thinking about? Was it Sonny?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

**How very poetic.**

I know. You know, Sonny likes poetry.

**I know that. I was the one who found it out doofus.**

Oh yeah.

**See? I'm smart. You just don't appreciate me when I do stuff.**

Oh shut up. That's one of the few things you have done. I am in charge. I am the Man. Sonny loves me, not you. Sorry bro, but that's the way it goes _Chad 2._

**Ass. I really don't like you sometime.**

I know. I really don't like you sometimes either.

"Chad! Listen to me you freak of nature!" she yelled.

"Says the girl who dresses like she's stuck in the 80's! Oh, wait, that's because she is. And you weren't even alive in the 80's!" I shot back.

"Ha-ha. Don't make me sing a ridiculously catchy 80's song to you!"

"NO!" That scared me. Last time she did that I had _Cover Girl_ stuck in my head for a week.

"Then shut-up," she said. "So anyway, The Big Cheese came in and made a very important announcement. I figured you weren't listening so I'm now cluing you in," she said.

"What is it?"

"Well, apparently, he looked over the contract and we own the _So Random!_ prop house," she said.

"REALLY?!"

**Yes!!!!**

"Really. And since Portlyn has been wanting a meditation room, he figured that was the perfect place," she said.

"Huh. Actually, that wouldn't be so bad."

**Yeah, and although it is technically Sonny's, it's not like she'll care. I mean, it's just a bunch of stupid props that go "Squeak!" Ho-ho, meditation room, here I come.**

Ho-ho? Did you really just say ho-ho? What are you, Santa Clause?

**Aw, shut up.**

No, you shut-up.

**No, you shut-up!**

No, you shut-up!

**No, you shut-**

"Are you really getting into a 'No, you shut-up' fight with yourself?" Ally asked.

"So what if I am…wait a second, how did you know that was what we were fighting about?"

"You said 'No, you shut-up' out loud a few times," she said.

"Wonderful."

"You are so embarrassing and – OH MY GOD! IS THAT PAULA ABDUL?" she yelped. I looked up.

"I don't see her. It could be her though, she's a big fan of _Mackenzie Falls_."

"I love her music. _Opposites Attract_ is my favorite," she said. She took a breath like she was about to sing.

"Oh no, no, you are not, repeat not going to-

"We come together 'cause opposites attract!" she sang.

"I hate you," I muttered.

**Hey, at least it doesn't remind us of…aw, shit it's exactly like Sonny and me. She's the exact opposite of us. Damn. There goes another pop song. **

What are you talking about, Sonny and you? It's Sonny and me, okay bro?

**You're just jealous because of my charm. You wish you had my sk-**

"You really need to stop doing that," she said.

"I really need new friends. Chad 2 and you just are not cutting it," I said. Ally stuck her tongue out at me.

"So, when are you going to start moving in?" she asked.

"I'll go get Portlyn and Michelle and then we'll start moving into the prop house," I told her. She nodded.

"Wait, why Portlyn?" she asked.

"She's pretty strong for an airhead." Ally nodded.

"Let's get cracking," she said.

* * *

"See ya!" I heard Tawni yell. Damn, I was hoping we wouldn't catch her.

**I don't like being near her. She reminds me of our other name. Chad**

DON'T FINISH IT! IT IS NOT TO BE MENTIONED IN MY PRESENCE.

"You might want to stick around," I said. It was time to break in the news. "Heard you guys got some bad news," I said.

"Yeah, can you believe it, they're taking away our prop house!" Sonny yelled.

"Oh my gosh, I totally know how you feel," I said, taking the tape measurer from Portlyn. Well, I didn't actually. Who gets attached to a room? It's an inanimate object.

_**Baby seems we never ever agree  
You like the movies  
And I like T.V.  
I take thing serious  
And you take 'em light  
You go to bed early  
And I party all night**_

**While that doesn't necessarily relate to this particular problem, it's got some truth. We got to clubs, she's an early to bed person. We sit around watching **_**Mackenzie Falls**_** and there isn't a movie she hasn't seen. We take everything like it's a joke and she takes a lot of stuff to heart. In this case, we think getting attached to a room is stupid but she thinks it's normal. Sonny and us are just way different.**

Thanks Dr. Phil.

**I take that offensive. I have hair.**

No Sherlock, I have hair. ME!

"One time, I got this sweet new Convertible…6 feet," I told Portlyn.

"And?" Nico asked.

**What did happen next?**

Um…I got a Convertible?

"That was it. Huh. I guess I really don't know how you guys feel," I laughed.

"Well, Chad it was still sweet of you to stop by…" Sonny said.

**She's so cute.**

How tall do you think we are? Last time I checked it was 5'7 ½, which I think is a pretty good. Height. It's right around Nick Jonas's, did you know that?

**Hmm…ha! 5'7 ½, we still got it.**

Wait, Sonny said something.

"Didn't you hear? This is going to be the new _Mackenzie Falls_ meditation room," I said. "Now, how high do you think the ceiling is?"

"WHAT?!" just about everybody in the room screamed.

**Damn, they're loud…**

"I'd say, maybe about 16 feet…so, wait, what, what, what?" Grady sputtered. He is why I don't hang with people in Chuckle City.

"You can't take away our prop house!" Sonny yelled. She's so cute, even when she's mad. Her cheeks get all red, and her eyes get bright, and her nostrils flare up, which is just so darn cute and-

**You embarrass me.**

You were thinking it too, don't try and deny it.

"Apparently, we can. It's all in the contract," Portlyn said snootily. Watch whom your talking to missy. If you piss off Sonny…

"Let me see that, my dad's a lawyer," Nico said, pulling the contract away. He looked it over and I could tell he had no idea what it said.

**Wait, his dad is a lawyer? How sad is it that a lawyer spawned Nico?!**

"You have no idea what it says, do you?" Grady asked. I took the contract. I need my evidence.

"Let me break it down for you, okay? Section 4, Article 16, it's a little thing I like to call 'How to keep the cast of the number one show happy' clause," I told them.

"I'll show you claws!" the creepy little girl yelled, running at me. I backed away. She's a freak.

"Hey, do you think I can bring in my stereo?" Portlyn asked. "I really like listening to Metallica," she said. Michelle stopped to give her a look.

"Honey, Metallica is the anti-meditation, okay? Just leave that stuff at home," she said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," I said. "Now, we can actually expand a little, so I rented a bulldozer. Do you think it's too much?" I asked Michelle.

"No, it's fine. I want as much room as possible," she said. Michelle smiled at me, and batted her eyes.

**She's liked us since we first showed up here. She's not bad looking but-**

She's not Sonny Monroe.

"Okay, I'm going to go get that bulldozer!" I said.

"You know, she'll never admit to liking a bad boy like you. Even if she does, you're still a bad boy. You'll never make it," Michelle told me.

_**Our friends are sayin'  
We ain't gonna last  
Cuz I move slowly  
And baby I'm fast  
I like it quiet  
And I love to shout**_

How true. Maybe she's right. Sonny is sweet, and we're…we're…

**Annoying? Rude? Mean? Assholes? Bad boys?**

I was going to say we're realistic. Although, those aren't too far off the mark.

"Sorry. Try flirting with Kevin. He seems to be into you," I said, walking away. My phone vibrated and Sonny's beautiful smile came up. She begged to talk it out, and I figured we could…just as soon as I bulldoze through their wall!

**Okay, flip it on…and here we go!!!!!!**

There was a wonderful, sickening crash as I went through wall and pulled up in front of Chuckle City.

"So, what was it you guys wanted to talk about?" I asked. Sonny gave me an exasperated look. I smiled. The moving men walked in.

**Aw, she's so cute! Her hair is pretty shiny today. It looks nice.**

Look who's getting distracted now!

"Remember, everything must go. Especially anything…funny," I spat the last word out. I despise props. "Okay, rubber chickens, pies, girdles, anything that explodes, pops, squirts, or boings," I ordered. They started to look around. Sonny and…Tawni…walked over. Sonny had handcuffs on…why? The only reason I can think of is…you know…kinky, and I'm pretty sure she's never gotten to 2nd base, let alone done something kinky.

"You wouldn't know something funny if it explodes, popped, squirted or boinged you in the face!" she shot at me. None of that stuff is funny, it's just stupid.

_**Don't think we'll ever  
Get our differences patched**_

"Okay, start with the gnome…oh, and that thing with the pointy red hat that she's standing next to," I said.

**That is a gnome you idiot!**

Whatever!

"Gnomey isn't going anywhere without me!" Creepy-Little-Child said. They all had handcuffed each other together. Wonderful. This should be interesting.

"Handcuffs…wow…usually, you're linked together by your lack of talent," I said, smiling.

**Boy, I'm getting a kick out of this.**

"Well, now we're linked together to get our prop house back," Sonny argued. I shook my head. It's a freaking room! Blah, blah, blah, who freaking cares?

"Well, good luck with that plan and I'll see how long you guys can hold out. I bet one of you already has to go to the bathroom," I said gleefully. Ah, this is the life. Tawni will crack in about an hour, right on schedule too.

This is going to be interesting…

* * *

"Ally, can you help me move these mats in?" I asked. She nodded and picked one up.

"You know…you could've been nicer to Sonny. She really likes this place," she said.

"It's a room. Why would she be this attached to it?" I asked for what seemed like the 50th time that day.

"But it means a lot to her," Ally argued. "You guys were doing so well too. You two are just like the song," she said. She started to sing. "She takes 2 steps forward, you take 2 steps back. You come together because opposites attract," she sang.

"SHUT-UP! You are poisoning my mind!" I groaned. She giggled.

"I'm just saying. Maybe you could've been nicer."

"Whatever. We've got meditating to do," I said. "Everyone! Come on in!"

"I'm leaving. Meditating is creepy," she said. We all sat down.

"Ready?" I asked. Everyone nodded. "Ohm, what a great show we have. Ohm, what great actors we are," we all chanted.

"Ohm, don't mind me I'm just here to pick up a prop I left behind," I heard a voice say…a really pretty voice…

**Cool it Romeo, you are supposed to be calming yourself down.**

Right sorry.

"Ohm, just hurry up this is our place now," I said to Sonny.

**You know what would be really funny? If it wasn't Sonny. That would be freaking hilarious. **

No, actually, it wouldn't be. It would be the opposite of funny!

**Sorry.**

"Ohm, I…can't find it. Has anyone seen a little antenna you can wear on your head if you want to look like a bee?" she asked. We all turned to give her a look. Really, Sonny, really? "Ohm, I look really cute in it," she giggled.

You know, she actually did look really cute in it…

**You watched an episode of **_**So Random!**_**? You idiot.**

You watched it too!

**Oh yeah.**

"Guys, just ignore her, okay? Let's just, focus on our breathing." I took a deep breath. Something was wrong.

**What the hell is that noise?**

"Okay, which one of you has bronchitis?" I demanded.

**That isn't bronchitis Chad. That's coming from above us.**

That doesn't sound good.

"Oh no, no. That's not breathing, that's just the sound of Zora sawing through our floor," Sonny said, smiling.

**Floor?**

"Our floor?"

"No, no. Our floor, your ceiling," she said. She pulled out a hardhat.

**This is not going to end well.**

You think?

"You may want to wear this," she said, putting it on my head and backing away. Everyone else started to back away from me as well.

**Crapola.**

BANG!

**OW!**

"What, what are you doing?" I demanded.

"Well, Marshall said that we could have any other room that we wanted so, we picked that one," Sonny explained, gesturing to the enormous whole in my ceiling.

"Hey neighbor!" Tawni yelled.

"Yeah, but we all thought it was missing something, so we thought we should put in a multi-purpose hole," Sonny went on.

**That's it Chad. This is the end. Put your head between your knees and kiss our ass goodbye. She's going to kill us.**

"Now we have a garbage disposal," Nico yelled happily. Oh crap.

**Crap indeed. Their throwing food at us!**

"And a shoe closet!"

**Stiletto attack! Block your eyes, those things are killer!**

"And a bowling ally."

"Whoa! Danger!" I yelped as a bowling ball came straight for my head. I looked around to see everyone else had deserted me.

"And a toilet!" Creepy-Little-Child yelled gleefully.

"Whoa, okay that is enough!" I yelled. "I know what you're trying to do, okay? You might have scared everyone else off but this is my meditation room and I. Will. Be. SERENE!" I yelled at them.

**You know, yelling is the opposite of being serene. **

SHUT-UP!

_**I like it quiet  
And I love to shout**_

Is this really the time?

**Well, it's true. We meditate, she does crap like this.**

Go away, nobody likes you.

**Oh, very mature Chad. Besides, mom likes me!**

She lied!

I ran into the photo booth.

"Ohm, I'm finally alone now," I chanted.

**I'm here.**

Ohm, you don't count you're in my mind.

"Ohm, I'm never giving back this prop house," I said a little loudly. "Ohm, there's something on my leg…something on my leg, something on my leg! That's a rat!" I yelped.

**RUN!**

I'm right with you buddy!

"So I meditated on it," I said to Sonny, "and uh, I think this place means more to you than it does to me. So see you!" I yelled the last part and ran away. I hate rats. They scare the crap out of me.

I ran into the safety of my room and slammed the door. I looked to see Ally on my bed, reading a magazine.

"I told you you should have been nicer," she said, smiling.

"Shut-up."

"It's karma I tell you."

**She could be right. You'd think we'd have learned by now.**

I know.

_**Cause she's bittersweet,  
She knocks me off of my feet.  
And I can't help myself,  
I don't want anyone else.**_

**Oh. My. Goodness. If this song comes up one more time regarding Sonny-**

You think I voluntarily let it pop up there? I don't have any control over that stuff. You wouldn't be here if I did.

**Yeah, and- hey! Thanks a lot.**

_**She's just the girl I'm looking for.**_

"So, how are you gonna make it up to them?" Ally asked, looking back down at her magazine.

"Um…I think I have just the idea…"

* * *

"Ally! I dropped Creepy-Little-Child's gift. Put it on to of the stack!" I called.

"Why?"

"ALLY!"

"Fine! And no, I'm not going to come in and help you. You're facing the monster on your own," she said, placing the package on top.

**Traitor.**

Agreed.

I walked into Chuckle City hesitantly. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Too late now.

"Hey, knock knock!" I called.

"Who cares?" Tawni squeaked.

**Wasn't talking to you!**

"Look Randoms, I know you're mad, and to be honest I didn't know how much this place meant to you-"

**It's a freaking room!**

"and I may have gotten a little carried away so I got you all a little something to say 'I'm sorry,'" I told them. Tawni snatched her present away.

"Ooh! A bedazzled lip gloss case for my bedazzling lips," Tawni said. I knew she liked it. She's always been into herself, ever since we were kids and my name was still-

**Shut-up!**

Right.

"Aw! Sweet! A nightlight for my sarcophagus! Now I can see what's been crawling on my leg!" Creepy-Child exclaimed. And people wonder why I call her Creepy-Child!

Sonny looked at me. I looked back. She smiled her big, goofy smile at me. She looked so cute. Plaid really fit her. Her hair was so shiny…and her eyes were sparkly today…

**Hand her the freaking present!**

"Wow," she said, plastering on her fake smile, "it's a signed picture…of you."

"Look at how it's signed," I said, gesturing. She turned it over.

"To my biggest fan: I'm sorry. Love, TV's Chad Dylan Cooper.' Aw! That's so sweet!" she gushed. I blushed. I looked over and saw Tawni make a face like she just stepped into manure.

**She's just jealous she doesn't have an awesome guy like us!**

Sonny and I looked at each other for a second. The most wonderful second ever.

_**Things in common  
There just ain't a one  
But when we get together  
We have nothin' but fun**_

"So…what did you do for Nico and Grady?" Sonny asked, breaking the moment. The awesome moment. The wonderful moment.

"Aw, that was easy. I just let them take a ride on the forklift," I told them. Tawni and Sonny jumped out of their seats.

"You did what on the who now?" Sonny demanded, her voice going high.

CRASH!

**YOU IDIOT!**

IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

The wall came down and in popped the Dweebs on the forklift.

"Yay…wait, this isn't _Mackenzie Falls_," Nico said sadly.

**Assholes.**

"Dude, who cares, we just knocked down an entire wall!"

"Chad, don't ever-"

"I realize that now," I gulped. Sonny looked at the destruction. "Sorry."

"It's okay. It's just a wall." She looked at my hand, looked at her's, then slipped her's into mine.

My brain stopped. There was nothing there but the two of us and it was perfect, more perfect than any moment because Sonny Monroe was touching me. It felt awesome.

**I know the head on shoulder thing didn't count as a base, and this doesn't either, but can I call this 2****nd**** non-base, just to make myself happy.**

**…**

**Chad? Chad? Oh, he's gone.**

"It can always be fixed," she said, smiling. **I love her smile. **

"You two are soooooo gross!" Tawni exclaimed.

**I know I speak for both of us when I say that we didn't care what Tawni said at that moment. All that mattered was Sonny and her soft hand in our's.**

* * *

Again, sorry I took so long. I liked this chapter, although it was really long. I know I've said it before, but Chad overthinks everything. And then he's always thinking about Sonny...anyways, so I hope you liked it. Review.

I just realized, I've got about 48 reviews! Thank you so much for those who have reviewed! Ya'll are the best!


	7. Girl Next Door

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs

Chapter 7: Girl Next Door

Summary: Chad's POV of episode 16, Sonny In the Kitchen With Dinner to the song Girl Next Door by Saving Jane.

Note: My updating this close together will probably not happen for a while. The only reason for this time is because I surprisingly got little homework. However, I've got a concert coming up and volunteer work (although I didn't volunteer...my grandmother did that for me...) so I'm going to be busy. I shoudl have something up by Christmas and since I like to have a story up for major holidays, I might do a Sonny With A Chance story. I don't know...Anyway, here it goes:

* * *

"What are you listening to?" Sonny asked incredulously.

"Um…I didn't know you were standing there…um…how much of that song did you hear?" I asked slowly. She giggled.

"Enough."

"Well…wait, you don't know who Paula Abdul is?" I asked.

"I know who she is, I love her! I just…didn't think you liked her. That song is from the late 80's!" she pointed out.

"I like 80's music. I grew up on it. I mean, it's so freaking annoyingly catchy, but I like it," I informed her.

"Well well well. Chad Dylan Cooper has layers. Who'd a thunk?" she smiled.

"Yeah, well, you were bound to find out eventually," I muttered.

"_Opposites Attract_ huh? You thinking of anyone in particular?" she asked. I looked at her.

**Oh my goodness. Is Sonny…flirting?**

I think so.

"Maybe," I said, smiling. She walked over to the computer and pushed my arm.

"Scoot over," she said. I obliged happily. The chair was big, but big enough **(thank goodness)** to fit both of us comfortably, so Sonny was kind of…sitting in my lap.

**Heaven.**

"Do you want to listen to anything?" I asked. She looked up at the sky and bit her lip. Her pretty, pink, soft lip.

**Chad, how do you know if her lips are soft or not? Have you been up to something that you haven't informed me about? Hmm…?**

How would you not know about something that big? You're my sub-conscious; you're always with me. However, you could be up to stuff that you haven't told me about. Have you?

**Chad! What do you take me for? Manipulative.**

Yes.

**Good, because I can be. Sadly, no, I haven't done anything like that.**

"Have you ever heard _Rockstar_ by Nickelback?" she asked. I stared.

**Whoa. Did Sonny Monroe, sweet little Sonny Monroe, just ask us if we had heard a song by Nickelback?**

"Well, it seems I'm not the only one with layers," I noted, typing in the song.

"Nickelback is awesome. A lot of the girls in Wisconsin thought they were weird so they were a bit of a guilty pleasure until I got here," she explained, blushing.

"You'll hear no objections from me. I like Nickelback too," I told her. I pushed play and we sat back and listened. "So what else do you like?" I asked.

"Um…you mean besides the teenie bopper singers that people expect me to like?" she asked. I nodded. "Um…_Bon Jovi__**, **__Blake Lewis_…um…_Bowling for Soup…_oh! I love Thomas Dekker. I have his c.d. and I watch the _Sarah Connor Chronicles_ non-stop…"

"You like the Terminator series?" I asked. "No way."

"I love Terminator! It's so freaking awesome! The story is so cool and the fight scenes are so good!" she gushed.

"Dude, I'm obsessed with them!"

**Common ground, finally.**

"That's so cool!"

"Okay, so is there anything else?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure she's still considered pop, but not that many people I know like her. Have you ever heard of Saving Jane?" Sonny asked.

"No."

"I figured. Well, I like this one song, just because of the music video really. It's called _Girl Next Door_," she explained.

**Hey, we know that song!**

No we don't.

**Chad, I'm your sub-conscious. I would know if we heard that song or not!**

"Here, let me play it for you," she said, reaching for the keyboard. It couldn't be moved any closer to her, so she had to reach over me. Her hair smelled really nice, like pineapples.

"Small town homecoming queen, she's the star in this scene," sang out from the speakers. We sat in companionable silence, just listening. It wasn't a half-bad song. It was actually pretty good and Sonny was right: the video was pretty neat.

"Nice."

"I know! I…" she glanced at the clock. "OH! My Blarmie the Blanket with Arms should be coming today!" she yelped happily.

"Blarmie huh?" I laughed.

**Only Sonny.**

"Yes. I like Blarmie the Blanket with Arms! It's nice and snuggly!"

"You love saying that don't you?" I asked. She nodded happily. She jumped up to leave but turned around.

"Um…I went in to get breakfast this morning and I saw a sandwich…named Chad?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, you saw correctly. It's really good," I said. "Although, I guess I'm biased."

"Well, if it's so good maybe I'll try one today!" she said, hopping off.

**Chad, I think today has started out perfect.**

Couldn't agree more Chad. I'm hungry. Let's go get a Chad to finish off a perfect morning.

* * *

"Hey, can I get a me?" I asked, smiling.

"One Chad coming up!"

"Hey Chad? How would you go about naming a sandwich after yourself?" Nico asked.

"I already have a sandwich named after me," I said.

"Well, by you we mean us," Grady clarified.

**Don't do it! How would it look if right under The Chad there was the Nico and Grady Deluxe?**

Ooh, good point.

"Why would anyone want to eat a sandwich named after you?" I asked. They stared.

"Because we're delicious!" Grady spat.

"Oh really? Are you now?" I asked.

"Yeah!"

**Idiots.**

"Fellows, settle down. Now, there's two ways for you to get a sandwich. The first one is to be famous," the deli dude said, gesturing to me. I smiled.

"But we're on _So Random!_" Nico pointed out.

**All the more reason not to name it after you!**

"CHAD!" Ally called. I looked over. "You need to get your hair and make-up done! You're on in half an hour!" she yelled. I nodded.

"Just let me get my Chad and then I'll be there!" I said.

"Ooh, get me a Sloppy Jonas!" she yelled.

"Can I get a Sloppy Jonas for my cousin?" I asked.

"No problem Chad!" Deli Dude said.

"Here's your money," I said.

"Oh no! For you, it's free!" he said.

"WHAT?!" the chuckleheads yelled.

"Star treatment for the real star, that's right baby!"

"Oh, shut-up!" Deli Dude handed me my sandwiches and I walked over to _Mackenzie Falls_.

"Here you go, one Sloppy Jonas," I said, handing Ally her sandwich.

"Thanks." I sat down in my chair and dug in.

"Mm. That's some good Chad," I said. My hairdresser smiled.

"Chad? Um…you've got some Chad on your shirt, here," Sonny said, wiping my shirt.

"Thanks." Sonny leaned against my dresser with a small smile on her face, like she was trying to be flirtatious.

**That's because she **_**is**_** trying to be flirtatious. She wants something.**

"I need a favor. I'm helping Tawni out and I need your court-side tickets for the Lakers game!" she asked, her voice going all high-pitched.

"Oh, you mean…these?" I asked, holding them in front of her.

"Thanks Cha-"

"Ah!" I said.

**Does she really think she's going to get those for free?**

"Not so fast. I have these seats because?" I prompted.

"Hm…you're the star of _Mackenzie Falls_, the number 1 tween show," she said, a look of pain on her face.

"Oh, that's worth one," I said. I heard Ally's giggle from behind me.

"And…you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria," she continued.

"Ooh, that's good for two, wanna go for three?" I asked. She stared at her foot for a second.

"I can't," she said. Her lips got all pouty.

**They're so cute.**

Focus!

"Say it."

"I won't."

"Say it!"

"You're the…greatest…actor of our generation," she grumbled.

"There's number three. Enjoy," I told her. Sonny snatched it away and looked glum for a second.

**Even sad, she's still so darn cute.**

She smiled wide and skipped off.

"You're so bad," Ally said, walking past.

"I know. So, what have you been up to?" I asked her, sitting back down in my chair.

"The director is thinking of making me one of the writers," she said, smiling wide.

"That's great!"

"Yeah…I've just got to convince my mother to let me stay. She wants me back home in a week," she informed me.

"I'll beg if need be."

"I want to see that," the hairdresser said. "I've been doing your hair since this show started and I've never seen you beg," she laughed.

"I'll record it for you," Ally told her, winking.

"You will do no such thing!"

"What's your name?" Ally laughed.

"Emily," she said.

"Well Emily, it's a pleasure meeting you," Ally said.

"I'm Chad," I said. Emily rolled her eyes.

"I knew that one," she said.

"Right…"

"Oh my goodness. Chad just introduced himself without saying his full name!" Ally cried. "It's a miracle!"

"We should celebrate!" Emily giggled.

"I can say it if that's what you-"

"NO!" they both cried.

"We're good, thanks," said Ally.

**Point for Chad Dylan Cooper.**

"Look, there's Chad."

"Shhh, don't let him see!"

"How are we gonna brake it to him?"

"He's coming!"

"Should we clear it by Ally first?"

"I can't believe it!"

Whispers follow me all day long. I see Ally surrounded by an enormous group of people and walk over. They fall silent then run away.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked.

"Going on? What do you think could be going on?" she asked, sliding off the seat. She walked over to her room.

"Ally! People have been whispering all day long. What happened?" I demanded.

"Don't be mad!" Ally pleaded. "I'm sure it meant nothing. It was the KissCam!" Ally said.

"KissCam? What's that got to do with…wait, did Sonny…" I started, but I couldn't finish. Ally held out a magazine.

"I'm so sorry Chad," she whispered. I looked down at Sonny kissing some other guy. Not me, but some other guy.

_**Perfect skin, perfect hair  
Perfumed hearts everywhere  
Tell myself that inside she's ugly  
Maybe I'm just jealous  
I can't help but hate her  
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her**_

**Aw hell. Here we go again.**

It's logical…if you, you know, reverse the genders.

**He's not that good looking.**

Really? Or are we looking at different guys?  
**Yeah…he's pretty good looking. She looks like she might actually like him and it wasn't just the-**

NO! We are going to hold out. We have to…

**Let's talk to Sonny first. **

Okay.

"I'm going to go and see Sonny," I said.

"Be nice," she warned me.

"When am I ever not nice?" Ally rolled her eyes.

"You don't know the whole story."

"I know. I'm going to be nice!"

* * *

"You just couldn't say no to the KissCam could you?" I demanded.

**So much for being nice.**

"Chad, not now!" Sonny exclaimed. She looked frustrated.

**Even when she's frustrated she's cute.**

Now is not the time buddy boy!

**Okay, just remember to keep the jealousy and affection on the down low and not say something-**

"I trusted you, Sonny."

**Well, something like that. You never listen.**

"Okay, I trusted you to use my tickets responsibly and instead I wake up this morning to find this," I said, holding up the hideous magazine, "on the cover of tween weekly."

**Ask you the hell it is!**

"Who is this guy?!"

"The love of my life!" Tawni called from inside the room.

**"Then why is she kissing him?!"** we both shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"I told you it was the KissCam!" Sonny shouted.

"SONNY!" a voice called.

"It was the KissCam!" she yelled.

"MAN!"

"Hah! I told you it was the KissCam!" Grady barked. Nico gave up some money.

**They're betting on our love life?**

"Would you mind tasting our sandwich?"

"Wait! You guys have a sandwich, what kind of sandwich?" I asked suspiciously.

**Please no Nico and Grady Deluxe!**

"The kind of sandwich that can eat your sandwich for lunch!" Grady gloated.

**Let's focus on this, then maybe we won't be so frustrated with Sonny.**

That's a good idea.

**I bet their sandwich sucks!**

"Do you mind taking your sandwich talk somewhere else please!" Sonny said, pushing the cart along.

"Do you think you can top the Chad? HUH?" I asked, walking away.

"Oh, we know we can top the Chad!"

"I don't think so!"

* * *

RING!

"Chad, what did I say about having your cell while Jordin is fixing you up?" Emily scolded.

"You said not to do it?"

"Not as dumb as he looks folks!"

"Ha-ha. Just let me take this one call!"

"Fine, here," she said, holding the phone up to my ear.

"CDC, what it do?" I asked.

"Mr. Cooper, it's me, Howie," Deli Dude said. I motioned for Jordin and Emily to back off. Jordin did, Emily got closer.

**She's just as bad as Ally.**

"Remember that little sandwich thing we talked about? It's done."

"Good."

"You won't forget me, right Mr. Cooper?"

"Of course not Harvey," I told him, hanging up.

"Chad, he said his name was Howie," Emily said.

"Whatever."

"You are going to pay him back right?" Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, not paying any attention.

"CHAD!"

"OH MY GOD! OKAY! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ALLY!" I groaned.

"I know. That's why we get along so well," she said happily. I rolled my eyes.

**Oh no. There are two of them. We are going to die. I vote you let me take control and I'll whack them both.**

I'll sharpen the knives buddy.

**What are you talking about, knives? I was thinking fire!**

That would be interesting.

"Hey Chad, guess what?" a girl's voice asked from behind me.

"No guessing, Jordin has got to get him ready!" Emily said.

"It'll take a second!" the voice pleaded.

"Fine!"

"What's up?" I asked, turning around to look. It was Michelle.

"I heard some stuff about Sonny and that boy, Hayden," she started.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea," Emily interrupted.

"Oh, it's fine. Well, I heard that he was on the football team at his high school and homecoming king. Not to mention everyone loved him," Michelle said, smiling snidely.

_**She's the prom queen  
I'm in the marching band  
She's a cheerleader  
I'm sitting in the stands  
She gets the top bunk  
I'm sleeping on the floor  
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door**_

"Great," I said sarcastically. "Look, I have really got to get ready for my next scene so-"

"He was also class president and got really good grades," she rambled on.

_**Senior class president  
She must be heaven sent  
She was never the last one standing  
A backseat debutant  
Everything that you want  
Never too harsh or too demanding**_

"Okay Michelle, I'm now kicking you out. I need to get him ready," Emily cut in again.

"Whatever. See you around Chad," Michelle said, walking away. I looked at my shoes.

"What did you do to piss her off?" Emily asked.

"I refused to go out with her…because…because…because I liked it," I said finally. Emily gave a half-hearted smile.'

"I'm sure it was a mis-understanding."  
"Yeah, whatever. Just finish my make-up!" I demanded. She snapped her fingers and Jordin continued his work. I hate that guy. Hayden. What kind of a name is that? That's a girl's name, that's what!

RING!

"I swear to God Chad!"

"Just one more call!"

"FINE! But this is the last interruption!"

"Yes ma'am." I picked up the phone, and trying to lighten the mood answered with:

"Let me hear you say 'hey!'"

"Oh no!" a voice rang out. I looked at the caller I.D.

"SONNY?" I asked. I heard crunching noises and Sonny whimpering.

"What the hell was that about?" Emily asked.

"I need to go find her! She could be hurt!" I cried.

"NO!" the director said. "You've been stalling long enough. You're staying here!"

"I need to help Sonny. She could be-"

"Do you like being Mackenzie?" the director asked.

**No actually, we don't.**

"Yes sir."

"Well then, you better stay here."

**Damn.**

"Yes sir."

"I'll have your jacket ready the moment you get off stage," Emily whispered.

"Thanks."

**Sonny, here we come…in about thirty minutes.**

* * *

"FREEZE!" I yelled, busting into Sonny's apartment.

"DON'T TOUCH MY PURSE!" Tawni yelled.

**What's she doing here?**

No idea.

"Whoa. Chad Dylan Cooper. This is awesome. What are you doing here?"…that guy…Hayden…it hurts to say his name…asked.

**What is he doing in Sonny's apartment?!**

_**Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her**_

"I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal," I started. I realized Tawni was standing there listening.

**Oh come on, everyone already knows.**

No they don't.

"So I cut my massage to an hour and rushed right over here," I finished. That should do it. "So…where's Sonny? And what are you doing here?" I asked, gesturing to Tawni.

"HAH! I live here silly!" Tawni squealed, hitting the wall.

"I'm over here-y silly!" I mimicked. "Okay, something weird is going on," I noted.

**Where the hell is Sonny?**

"No it's not, I'm just having a normal date in my apartment!" Tawni said.

**This is Sonny's apartment. It is Sonny's apartment, right?**

You think I wouldn't know Sonny's apartment when I saw it?

**Good point.**

"Chad?" Grady asked, running in with Nico.

**What's going on?**

This is so freaking weird!

"What are you two doing here?!" I demanded.

"Sonny wanted some of our sandwiches," Nico explained.

"Because our's are better than yours!" Grady shot.

"Give me that!" I yelled, taking a bit.

**It tastes like…like…**

"This tastes like it's been in the sun for 10 hours!"

"Ha-ha! Twelve!"

**Gross. That's so gross. Do you feel weird? My stomach hurts. I've got cramps. **

Ow. I haven't felt this bad since…since Mom tried to bake a cake for our 13th birthday and even though we got food poisoning, we pretended it was delicious so we wouldn't hurt her feelings.

**This almost feels worse actually. I think I'm going to…going to…**

"I think it was the sandwiches."

"You mean the sandwich I just tasted?" We all paused for a second.

**FIRE IN THE HOLE! RUN!**

I ran to the bathroom and…ugh…that was gross. I'm never eating anything Nico or Grady give me again.

**That's for sure.**

* * *

"Sonny?" I called.

"Yeah?"  
"Thanks for taking care of me," I said. After I had spilled my guts out into her toilet, she took me home and gave me some stuff that would empty my stomach of all the bad stuff, then replenish me with all the nutrients I just lost. It actually didn't taste so bad.

"No problem. After all, it was partly my fault you got sick," she said. She sat on the edge of my bed. "You should probably get to sleep. I'll check on you in the morning," she said. I nodded.

"Can you stay a little longer? I wouldn't ask, but Ally isn't getting in until a little later," I asked. She nodded and scooted a little closer.

"Go to sleep. I'll stay." I closed my eyes, willing the rest of the world away…except Sonny that is. I felt her soft hand on my forehead. "At least you don't have a fever."

I had almost nodded off when I felt her get up.

**Is she…**we yawned…** is she leaving?**

Don't know. I was about to open my eyes when I felt her hand on my chest.

**Whoa. What's that there for?**

"Goodnight Chad," Sonny whispered softly. I felt her bend down and…

HOLD. THE. PHONE.

I could feel it. Her soft lips on my cheek. They stayed for what seemed like an eternity, maybe longer. They were nice and soft and perfect and warm. She pulled away and sat down on the floor. Then she put her head on the bed and took my hand.

**This must be heaven. This must be better than heaven.**

**This is perfect.**

**

* * *

**Okay, well, what do you think? I liked this one a lot. I hope you liked the ending...hee-hee. I figure since the show won't give us any, I will reward my faithful readers.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving!


	8. Stumble

Attack of the Annoyingly Catchy Pop Songs

Chapter 8: Stumble

Summary: Chad's POV to the episode Guess Who's Coming to Guest star to the song Stumble.

Note: I'd like to say I was busy, but I was just being lazy. Sorry. Hope you like it!

* * *

"Chad? Chad? My goodness Chad, if I have to start out one more day trying to get you to stop thinking about Sonny and focus on what I'm saying, so help me I'll-"

"You don't need to get violent! Jeez!" I said.

"Well, usually Chad 2 can get your attention when realizes you're not paying attention, but he's been spacey lately as well. What happened to you two?" Emily asked. I looked up at her. Should I tell her?

"Oh, give it a rest. I tried to squeeze it out of him, but he wouldn't budge," Ally said, sitting on top of my dresser. She looked at herself in the mirror, fixing her hair, then turned back to me.

"Don't break my mirror Ally!" I warned.

"Did I even come close to touching it?"

"No, but you looking at it for five seconds cracked it a bit on the sides. Who knows what you could've done if you stared at it any longer."

"You're hilarious. Anyway, don't bother Em," Ally told her.

"I know it has to do with Sonny," Emily pushed. I shrugged. Emily could be trusted but Ally would use this against me for the rest of my life…maybe after that.

"Oh yeah, because I tell you every little aspect of my life," I said sarcastically.

"Please?"

"Well…okay," I relented. Emily hopped onto my dresser and they both leaned in closer.

"Okay, well, I got sick and Sonny felt bad so she took care of me a bit," I started. "Well, I was almost asleep and then she came and…um…she kissed my cheek," I gushed. They both gasped.

"That's so cool!"

"Dude, that's almost a base!"

"I know!" I exclaimed.

"I remember my first kiss," Emily said dreamily.

"I like to forget my first kiss," Ally grumbled.

"Why?"

"The guy I kissed was an asshole. The first time we kissed was our last date. He tried to touch my boobs and I told him to back the hell off. He got mad and got a little rough so I punched him in the gut and walked away," Ally said calmly.

"I love how you can talk about the fact that you were almost raped so easily," Emily said.

"Almost, but guys always underestimate tiny girls. They never think we can defend ourselves…well, except Chad, but you learned that the hard way, didn't you?" Ally asked.

**I don't like the look on her face. I'd suggest guarding the jewels, unless you don't want to have kids later.**

I was just thinking that buddy. Ally laughed.

"I'm not gonna punch you!"

"I don't think I'm going to take that chance," I said. "But thanks for the words of comfort."

"I know this is really random, but have any of you seen _Roswell_?" Emily asked.

"I love that show!" Ally yelped.

"It's okay."

"Did you know the guy who plays Michael was on _Bones_?" Emily asked.

"Was he?!"

"You didn't see him?" I asked. "He was pretty good. His character was a major asshole, but still good."

"You didn't tell me?!"

"Sorry."

**Keep guarding them.**

"I have them all recorded, don't worry. Have you ever seen the music video made for Michael and Maria? It's to the song _Stumble_ by Natasha Bedingfield," Emily said.

"No."

"I have. I like that song, you know, for a pop song," I commented.

**No! No, don't think about it, please don't-**

_**You like me yeah I know it  
You're so transparent  
How you stumble 'round those words so well  
**_**Shit. You suck, you know that right?**

Wait, who would that be about? Am I stumbling around that, or is she?

**You both are. You're both idiots.**

Thanks.

**You're welcome.**

I was being sarcastic.

"Guess who is going to be guest starring on _So Random! _Chad?" Marshal asked, running over.

"Who?"  
"Guess!"

"Um…I heard something about that dork Jackson Tyler who was in _Twidark_. I thought it was a stupid movie though," I said.

"Well, actually…Jackson had to cancel. So, I was wondering if you could guest star!" Marshal exclaimed, faking happiness.

**Or maybe he is happy. You can never tell with this guy, even when he's hanging with his girlfriend.**

"Me? Guest star on Chuckle City? Don't think so," I scoffed.

"Please! You'll get to…well, you're going to do a sketch with Sonny Monroe. I know you're friends with her, so maybe that will make it less…you know, awkward," Marshal offered. Ally came closed to my ear.

"Take it you idiot!"

**I second that notion.**

"I'll do it," I said. Marshal half-smiled.

"Great, let's go break the news to the kids," Marshal said, gesturing for me to follow.

* * *

"Here's the good news. I found someone even better to guest star on _So Random!_ this week!" Marshal said. My cue to walk in.

"Hello Randoms," I said. I flopped down on the couch. Sonny gave me an evil look.

**She's basically saying, "You're not Jackson Tyler, I'd never want to kiss you."**

Always the charmer Chad 2. Well, two can play at the Asshole Game.

"So…which one of you girls is going to get me a samich?" I asked. They glared. Ah, this day is getting good.

"I'll get it if you promise to leave right now!" Tawni yelped.

"Tawni…" Marshal warned.

"I want Jackson Tyler!" Tawni whined.

"I'll get it," Sonny offered, walking away. Nico and Grady looked at me.

"Just stay away from Zora's sarcophagus. She can get pretty territorial about it," Nico warned me.

"Thanks bro," I said.

"I would have almost preferred Jackson Tyler," Grady whispered loudly to Nico as they walked away.

"I heard that!" I called. I looked over at Tawni. "Hey Tawni," I said.

"Shut up Chad," she yelled, stomping off.

I was alone in the Chuckle City prop room. Time to explore.

**Ooh look, something shiny!**

Pretty. It's a star. I wonder what they used that for…

**It was the Christmas special last year remember?**

Oh yeah. That one was pretty neat. Not that we care or anything…

**Right! We don't care.**

Is that a Viking hat?

**That's fudging awesome! Let's go look at it!**

I picked it up and put it on. It fit perfectly. I looked in a mirror.

"None to shabby Chad," I said, impressed. I even looked good in a Viking hat!

**Let's go down the slide!**

We're not seven Chad 2, we're 17!

**Almost 18!**

All the more reason for us to not go down the slide.

**It's shiny though, and it looks fun.**

Well…okay, let's go!

I ran over and slid down.

"Wee! Look at me, I'm all funny!"

"Give me that!" Sonny said, taking the Viking hat.

**Meanie.**

"Now, I can't believe I'm saying this, but here's your 'samich,'" Sonny said, handing me a plate. It looked delicious.

"Ooh, and you cut the crust off the way my mommy does," I said happily, flopping down on the couch and propping my feet on the table.

"Yeah, I don't know how you do it over at _Mackenzie Falls_ but over at _So Random! _we like to treat our furniture with a little respect," Sonny said, pushing my feet off the table.

_**My manners leave a lot to be desired,**_

You are lucky I can't kick you.

I glared at her.

"Isn't the same toilet Grady used as a table in the Baby Boom Boom sketch?" I asked.

**Pick your words wisely Chad or Sonny will realize we watch **_**So Random!**_

"Oh," she said, smiling, "so you do watch our show."

**Careful…**

"No, no I have people who watch it for me," I said, getting up. "Apparently, that sketch was…" I picked up a rubber snake.

**The only one who is funny on this show is Sonny. She'd never be stupid enough to use a rubber snake.**

"Funny." I spat the word out like it was a curse.

"Well, here's the script for this weeks sketch. Maybe you should have your mommy read it to you," she laughed. I gave her a look.

"Why would I put my mommy through that?" I asked her, being completely serious. She frowned.

**Oh, don't be sad Sonny. He's a jerk. **

_He_ is you! Shut-up!

"Oh and for the record I am looking forward to working with you this week," I said.

"Oh, well that's very nice. Thank you. And me too," she said. I could hear her smile.

**Tell her why! Tell her why!**

"Ooh, and before I forget I should warn you about something," I started.

**This is it. No one else is here and we are in the bag!**

"Before the week is up, you're going to fall in love with me," I said.

**You idiot.**

_**My foot was in my mouth the day I met you.**_

Shut up.

**This could also apply to this situation:  
**_**How you stumble 'round those words so well.**_

Shut-up Chad 2. I've got this under control

**That's what you always say and look where it has gotten us!**

Just trust me!

"Wait, I'm sorry. I thought you just said I was going to fall in love you!" Sonny laughed. She smiled and I thought maybe it was because she was thinking about the other night.

"All my leading ladies fall in love with me," I said, sighing. Sonny walked closer. "Go ask Tisdale…or Hudgens…or yourself by weeks end…" She sighed angrily.

**She's so hot when she's angry…**

Sonny is always hot.

**Good point.**

"Are we done yet?" she asked. I stood up.

"Look, I'm just telling you this because I like you," I told her.

**More than you can comprehend.**

"Well, I'm just telling you this because I like you: I don't like you!"

**Ouch Sonny.**

"Maybe you should just take your 'samich and get out of here!"

I laughed. "Gomez." I walked out, leaving Sonny to ponder my statement.

* * *

I walked on set with Marshal. Tawni ran into me and started laughing hysterically, then walked off. I heard a shout of happiness from the hallway but that wasn't the most pressing issue.

"Okay, I specifically asked for one massage table and zero rubber chickens in my dressing room and yet-" I pulled out the stupid rubber chicken. Marshal started laughing.

"They always make me laugh," he said. I glared at him. "It must be broken," he said and walked away.

**I despise rubber chickens.**

"So are you exited about rehearsing our sketch?" I asked. Sonny looked up from the script.

"Actually, I'm going to talk to Marshal about having it re-written," Sonny said.

**No! We kiss in the sketch!**

"Why? I especially love the part where you fall and break your toe and I say, 'Tell me where it hurts,'" I said.

**Actually, that parts kind of corny, but we'll be holding her…**

"Yeah, well that's my least favorite part," Sonny said as she tripped. I smirked at her.

"You just can't wait can you?" I asked, smiling.

"That toe stubbing had nothing to do with you!"

"You're falling for me! First the nervousness, then the stumbling…"  
"I'm not nervous and I didn't stumble!"

"Next you'll be dreaming about me, then you'll get lost in my eyes…" She laughed.

**Or we'll get lost in her's. Which ever comes first.**

"Then finally after we kiss you'll be hooked," I called as she walked away. She stopped.

"After we what?"

"Kiss. Four little letters."

**Throw in the name. We haven't said it all day.**

"Just like my name: Chad," I added.

**Oh yeah.**

"You're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name," she shot at me. I smiled. "Kissing, I'm going to go talk to Marshal about that." She tripped again. I smiled at her. "Who put that chair there?" she demanded.

**Ah. We've got her eating out of the palm of our hand.**

* * *

I knocked on her door. Sonny opened it looking a little frazzled.

"You wanna run lines?" I asked. "I've got two lip balms. One for my upper and one for my-"

"NO!" she screamed and slammed the door.

**OW!**

"My lower…"

**Think happy thoughts.**

Like what?

**Like…Sonny?  
**I'm trying to forget Sonny right now!

**Remember good Sonny, like when she was almost sitting in our lap last week and she let us listen to her favorite bands and singers and songs.**

_**By the way you turn me on to your favorite band.**_

**Or when she took care of us when we got sick.**

_**The way you lift me up when I'm fading**_

_**Breathe me in when I'm suffocating**_

She loves us doesn't she?

_**Don't even say it's just because you can.**_

**Yes she does Chad.**

Huh. What do you know, I feel better.

**Happy Sonny does wonders.**

* * *

We were at rehearsal and Sonny decided to wear a sombrero. I knew what she was doing though. She didn't want to admit she was in love with me.

"I know what you're doing. You don't want to look into my eyes." She laughed.

"What are you talking about?" I smiled.

"Fine. Then take off the hat," I challenged.

"Fine." She took of the sombrero and there was another hat, not as big, but still enough to block my beautiful eyes from view.

**Oh yeah, she's hooked.**

"You're wearing a hat under a hat? Ooh, you had the dream didn't you? It's okay, Tisdale wore six hats. That didn't stop destiny," I taunted. A look of panic crossed her face.

"There is no destiny, there is no you and me, there is no…" she trailed off when I sat up and looked at her. "Wow…I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are," she sighed. I leaned in.

**We're close. We are so close. There they are, there are those beautiful, pink, soft, warm, perfect lips coming straight towards our's. This is the moment of our lives-**

"Oh my God, what am I doing?" she yelped, pulling away.

**NO!**

"Getting lost in eyes, check. Now all that's left is the kiss."

"You know what?!" she yelled. "I will not kiss you, not in a million years! You, me, no kiss. Not now not ever!" she yelled. Marshal came and poked his head between us.

"You guys are gonna kiss!" Marshal yelled happily.

"What?!"

**SCORE!**

"You were right Sonny, the sketch is all wrong! So now I'm gonna rewrite it! Now, when you stub your toe he fixes it but not with a band-aide, with a kiss!"

**This day just keeps on giving.**

"And the audience goes, 'Whoa!' I can't wait!" He walked away.

"A kiss. Check and mate," I said, leaning back. Sonny shot me the look of death.

**This is going to be interesting.**

* * *

"Chad, hold still!" Emily commanded.

"I'm nervous! Come on Emily, I'm going to kiss Sonny Monroe, the girl of my dreams! I think you can cut me some slack!" I said.

"Chad, I know for a fact you've kissed plenty of girls. Actually, I'm not even sure you're still a virgin. Kissing Sonny-"

"Will be completely different thank you very much. And yes, I am still a virgin. I've got some standards Em," I spat. She gave me a look. I looked at my feet.

"Chad, you are a very attractive, relatively famous 17 year old boy. You expect me to believe you're still a virgin?" she demanded.

"Yes."

**Maybe we should tell her…**

"Okay, so maybe I'm not…exactly…I mean…I've only done it once okay? Don't think I'm some man-whore, okay?" I spilled. Emily shook her head and continued fixing me up.

"Alright you're done. Go knock her dead," she said, pushing me towards the set. I waltzed on stage like I owned the place.

"So…you ready for all this?" I said. Sonny rolled her eyes.

"Let's just get this sketch over with."

"All right but after it happens, you know we're going to be in love," I said.

**Crap. You idiot!**

"We?"

_**Won't walk on eggshells so you don't hear  
The crazy things I'm saying when you get near me**_

**Well, you walk on eggshells. I don't. I've wanted to tell her for months now.**

"You, I said you."

"You said we."

"We is my nickname for you. We happy?" I stuttered.

**Chad! *Face palms***

You can't move, why are you face palming?  
**If there is an asterisk that means it is an action. I just face palmed because you are an idiot.**

Shut-up!

"I can't wait for that kiss. Woo!" Marshal said. Sonny and I turned away from each other.

The show started. Sonny was hilarious, as always-

**Not that we watch it regularly.**

Of course we don't.

"Ma'am, if I kiss you, will you please stop hurting yourself?" I said. She glared at me.

"I'll kiss you for real when pigs fly," she spat. I closed my eyes and leaned in.

**Sonny…Sonny is leaning towards us, we will be getting very close to first base…yuck!**

I opened my eyes and there was a pig.

"Oh! EW!" I yelled, wiping my lips off. The audience laughed and the curtain closed. "Ah, I kissed a pig!"

"And the best part is, I didn't have to!" Sonny yelled gleefully.

"But you wanted to," I accused.

"No I didn't."

"But you want to now."

"Not after you kissed a pig." She walked off with the pig.

**This is the worst day of my life.**

* * *

"Chad?" a voice called through my door.

**Not a voice. The voice.**

"Come in Sonny," I said. She walked in and sat on my bed.

"Could I ask a favor?"

"What?"

"Could you come with me to drop the pig off at an animal shelter?" she asked. Her eyes were so big and innocent I couldn't say no. I got my jacket and we walked out. She had the pig on a leash and it pulled her along. "So…what was it like kissing a pig?" she asked, smiling.

"Shut-up."

"Just kidding. And just to let you know, I didn't fall in love with you, which means you're whole thing about your leading ladies falling in love with you was wrong," she laughed.

"Uh-huh, sure," I said. She shook her head when we got to the animal shelter. A lady was waiting outside and took the pig from Sonny. "Bye Piggy," I called. The pig oinked and I swear it looked sad to go. Weird. We walked back in silence. I walked her to her apartment.

"Well…actually…" Sonny started. She turned to me.

**This is it. She's gonna say it.**

"Someone did fall in love with someone?"

I felt like I was on a roller coaster. You know that feeling you get when you fall really fast? That sinking feeling in your stomach that feels funny but you can't help but love that feeling? It was happening at that moment.

"OH yeah? Who?"

"You fell in love me." I opened my mouth to say something but she put a finger to my lips. "It's okay Chad. All my leading men fall in love with me," she laughed. She leaned forward to kiss me cheek.

**Mini heart attack happening.**

She didn't seem content with that though. She looked me over again and then kissed my cheek again, but it was so close to my mouth she kissed the corner.

"Uh…uh…err…" was my genius reply.

"Told you. You wouldn't have reacted like that if you weren't in love with me. It's okay, I won't tell any of your co-stars. I know they'll never let you live it down," she whispered. She squeezed my hand and went inside her apartment. I stood there for a second.

**She's in love with us. She's just too shy to admit it. Sonny wouldn't have kissed us if she didn't like us.**

**_You like me, yeah, I know it  
You're so transparent  
How you stumble round those words  
How you stumble…_**

**_

* * *

_**

Well, how do you like it? I figured I should give ya'll some action seeming as it doesn't really happen on the show.

Hope you like it!

Happy New Year!

Peace.


End file.
